Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
NotARussianSpy 5
YDI for assuming she was a teenager, and for muttering an insult. Either say it or don't - but when it comes to this, just don't.
Prime7 1
Absolutely hilarious. Too bad there's too many over sensitive females logged in commenting on this one. Hope you took the beating like a champ. Excellent entertainment.
mowmowlife 21
So glad to hear you don't stereotype, segregate people by gender or have a close minded insight. Oh, wait.
Nnycr 4
As I read this I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late to keep your mouth shut.
dacuar 0
That's right..keep your mouth shut. Or somebody will shut it for you.
beckyxD 13
Sorry, but YDI. Just because a teen is pushing a stroller, doesn't automatically mean it's their kid. 40 year olds these days with teenaged kids are having babies like it's going out of style or something -.- Could've been her siblings for all you know.
Dracoboxer357 36
176- I agree with you, as I had that happen with my first boy: My wife took her much younger sister out grocery shopping with my son, who was 2 months old at the time. Her sister was 12, btw. Anyhow, my wife needed to use the bathroom and her sister said she'd mind the stroller, no problem. When my wife comes back, she finds her sister still with the stroller, everything was fine there, but she was just sobbing tears. Apparently, some judgmental old bitch saw my sister in law with my boy while my wife wasn't in sight, ran over to her and screamed at her that she's nothing but a little slutty ***** for having kids so young, and that she shouldn't be allowed in public, and told her if she had Jesus in her life, she wouldn't have ruined her life by being the ***** of Babylon, and then she stomped off indignantly. :p Poor kid was just watching out for her nephew, that kind of ignorant behaviour is completely uncalled for, and for someone else's split second assessment of her entire life, she got ripped a new one for it. :p Sometimes, people really suck.
bryan788 29
i bet you the guy feels he has to have an opinion about every one else. Your a dip shit and a punch is what you needed. I hope he beat the douchieness out of you
HungerGames95 13
Ydi you judgmental prick.
iwadasn 33
You made a lot of assumptions there. First of all, she might not have been a teenager; she could have just looked young for her age. And they might not have been her kids; she could have been their sister, cousin, babysitter, nanny, etc...
Mons_fml 27
Th'**** this has been said a million times already!
xxkatcxx 2
YDI, You shouldn't have just assumed that they were her kids. You know what you say about assuming: it makes an ass of u(you) and me. But in this case just you. I'm 19 and I babysit my nephew all the time and there are plenty of times where I'll go out with him to the store or to a park. She very well could have been babysitting. So YDI for being presumption jack ass, not to mention that even if they were her kids, remarks like that are rude and unnecessary. You don't know if they were unplanned or even if she had been raped.
Mons_fml 27
We get it!
Mons_fml 27
We get it!
Iniezian 18
Just tell the police. Seriously, it's time people stop thinking they can just go around beating up anyone they don't like, whether it's for insulting them or sleeping with their sister.