Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
KBear3109 29
I'm 23 and have 2 kids, 18 months and 6 months, and people look at my husband and I funny because I look rather young. First of all OP, how do you know they weren't married? Second, how do you know she wasn't older? Third, they could have planned on the two children they have and decided they didn't want anymore. My husband and I use protection because we're done having kids, it doesn't mean the two we have weren't planned.
chtychtybngbng 11
I wish I could give you way more than 1 thumb up!
SHUTTHEFRIGUP 3
******* worth it.
Mons_fml 27
Agreed! Well, it was really mean. But still genious!
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Think it but don't say it.
donut_gurl 8
first of all, she might have been babysitting, you don't know. secondly, she might be older than you think. I am 26 years old and have braces. People confuse me as a teen mother all the time! used to make me mad, now i just laugh.
chtychtybngbng 11
You definitely didn't deserve to get assaulted. However, you did deserve to get reamed out for assuming quite a few things about the "girl". Such as, the fact that she was actually a girl and not a young looking woman and the fact that those were her children. Also, even if they were her children, and she was a teenager, she is being responsible now by purchasing the condoms. Why would you ridicule her for doing the right thing? Regardless of the poor choices she made in the past she's making sound ones now. What if her boyfriend wasn't there and the outcome was only her being too ashamed to purchase protection for herself in the future? No one should be made to feel ashamed about taking control of their reproductive health; Regardless of their age or parental status. This just made you out to sound like a jerk. Maybe keep your judgemental opinions to yourself in the future when it pertains to someone else's sex life.
fmladdict82 1
I would think that too but wouldnt say it out loud
chemchic 7
ditto
nikshy2329 0
that was completely uncalled for. you deserved to get the shit beat out of you.
vagnis 1
That sucks. But you shouldn't be so quick to judge. My bestfriend is 15 and she's literally ALWAYS babysitting her niece and nephew. But even though she's only 4'11 she seems much older to strangers and people always walk up to her and are like, "Wow, your kids are so cute." and then she'll awkwardly smile and say thanks or something even though they're not her kids lol
deequu 20
Women young or old, after they have kids, still wear condoms you know.
pocketspock 3
Actually, it's the men that do so. The female condom was a miserable failure.
pocketspock 3
The OP made the correct statement but for the wrong reason. It's possible that the pregnancies were not planned in which case it's a little late for the guy to start using his only form of birth control. It's also a little late for her because she chose to have kids with a man with a White Knight Complex who feels justified in expressing his feelings by beating up complete strangers. I'm sure that the kids will turn out fine.
nevereyes 31
^ the truth has been spoken.....
white16sox 19
71, so she should have more kids because she already has two? Your logic is anything but logic. Big deal she had two kids, get over it. She's being responsible by buying condoms. Also, we don't even know for sure that those are her kids.
pocketspock 3
You're correct that we don't know that the kids may not be his. What I am saying if you're a dude you should be responsible for your birth control. We can't ask women to do it but allow men to abdicate responsibility.
TheMathMajor 26
...that makes no sense. Both parties should have some responsibility for birth control. Why the heck can't you ask the woman to be responsible? She can easily get on the pill or some other hormonal birth control or buy condoms herself, even both, like I do. I don't understand why you wouldn't want both sexes to be proactive about that sort of thing.