Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML
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Top comments
ciarafox9 9
Chap stick is a big responsiblity ok? Think of the consequences!
mea_iloveskiing 26
Better too young than too old :)
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Comments (141)
SunnyUserName123 5
aww
Jimster1712 0
i love how people write comments like " you should have " etc . its like the op will ever rea it lol
Pokeemon 3
When I posted a FML I came back and read the comments haha they were mean
JojoChuo 8
19 your profile says "0 confirmed out of 9 posted" O_o...
happyhak 5
#22 sounds like the guy who made the FML about his girlfriend sex texting him and then he ruined it by correcting her mistake. LOL
Pokeemon 3
I know but 1 has been confirmed but it won't show :/
MichellinMan 20
THOSE DARN WHIPPERSNAPPERS!
iianalove987 7
Off topic but, whippersnappers. Ahhh, love that word. :D
trevishere 7
What was it about.. I wanna read it.:3
eminemchick 19
she doesnt want you to fix your chapped bleeding lips? shes such a ******!
thebadmanpuntedb 7
22- Grammar is extremely important. For example. Capitalization is the difference between helping you Uncle Jack off his horse or helping your uncle jack off his horse.
that_one_guy14 0
Who gives a flying **** about using correct grammar these are fmls not English papers
iluvboobies 9
Don't umbrella me, bro!
gurlucrazy 0
ahahahaha 19 got busted
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
well, OP? are you? did you?
5t3ff1k4h 45
26 - It may have been posted, but then deleted. It happens.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Better too young than too old :)
scott17 0
100% true
qazaq 1
Senile old lady... Sad really
dani212 0
I like your picture... Wilson!!!!!!!
mea_iloveskiing 26
thank you =)
MILFSaregood 7
The old saying comes back..please respect your elders
howdmynosego 12
W8 what are chap sticks and how old are you op
gamerhead 3
Op has a Dane cook reference name :P
DoraTheExplorerI 4
Chapstick leads to soft lips, which leads to kissing, which leads to sex, which leads to pregnancy. Bottom line, chapstick = pregnancy. Youre too young...
Bludmagnus 13
That is the most unjustifiable boatload of crap I have ever seen in comments on an entry here. No.. this is not about respecting your elders.. it is about a crazy old biddy who has been allowed to live far too long.
OcampoFTW 4
You should consider this advice, old people are wise
flamegrilled123 3
wait, what?
chefmark02 1
I'm confused
bizarre_ftw 22
Don't forget, they're also senile
BrokenDreamer24 15
3- Yeah? Well this old lady is off her rocker telling OP not to use chapstick. Really? It's one thing if it was lipstick. People like that old lady wanna make me go commit mass murder.
Blue_Eyed_Beast 7
The old lady isn't against chap-stick or lipstick, she's against OP having sex, since chap-stick is always near the condoms in Targets and Walmarts and Zellers for some reason.
Foxy_On_Fire 21
Yeah but some are just crazy
fortehepiclulz 0
#7, nice South Park reference about the episode with the future, Cartman, and the AAA otters.
Lightbulb830 4
You should use balmex. It feels better. Just saying.
bizarre_ftw 22
Really? I prefer berts bees
IndiRae 9
I use Nivea soft lips, and according to the little tube, I'm completely kissable!
commietaco 0
I prefer feels goodandik, but my girlfriend took it because it was "girl Chapstick".
zukinihudini 0
Blistex is great for getting rid of chapped lips
every1luvsvag 10
Eos...
scrapmetal58 9
Sper... ER I mean Yes To Carrots.
Ashelizabethh 8
I love the chap sticks that are shaped like little eggs(: they're amazing. EOS (: yumm!
HollyDolly660 8
Starburst flavored Lip Smackers. :) It makes my lips soft and taste yummy.
iheartdance 6
Use blistex! by far the best kind.
khaoticpanda 28
carmex. #jusssayin
Feklfekl2222 32
Sprite flavour
chickinova 13
best flavor has got to be bubblegum:)
CookiexJar 17
Think twice, and after that, it's time to choose one!
ciarafox9 9
Chap stick is a big responsiblity ok? Think of the consequences!
howslife123 0
Why not do it old school and use beeswax
MissCheeks8 0
I'm pretty sure everyone gets dry lips sometimes, the fact that it can also make your lips kissabley soft.. well that's just a bonus and totally worth $3(;
danielreader22 4
Chapstick doesn't make your lips "kissabley soft." It treats dried lips and protects them.
mrme442 1
Your hot
TheUnknown_fml 9
I think they probably have condoms set in the same area. The lady probably thought she was looking at condoms.
howslife123 0
Ive never seen a 'condoms/chap-stick' section..
miz66independent 1
I was also thinking that she thought OP was looking at condoms. Makes more sense. Either way she's old and old people do crazy things.
terranada 3
I was just about to say "Were there condoms next to the chapsticks?" Lol
QuisMysterium 4
II think we require yet another person to confirm that they too were pondering upon whether or not the condoms were within the vicinity of the chap stick.
VeganVampyre 27
They are close-ish where I work. Though probably not close enough to be able to confuse which one you're looking at.
whiterabbit420 4
The drug store by me has the chapstick, condoms, and cough drops right next to each other, in the "sanitary/family planning products" aisle. It's funny to see who is truly uncomfortable by the products near them and I could totally see that happening there. FYL op
IndiRae 9
Hm. I wonder what would happen if you applied a generous amount of Burts Bees Chapstick, and then gave somebody a ********. I think it would either be pure ecstasy, or they would feel the immediate need to stick their dick into the freezer.
DelilahPhan 6
At target, chap sticks are in the same aisle as the medicines and the condoms are 1 or 2 aisle away depending on the store.
IloveyouJon 11
the walmart near my house has the condoms next to the tampons and the chapsticks by the register
qazhby 0
The OP is a girl? Lol
kali12_fml 0
That happened to me but at walmart
chickinova 13
LOL the condoms are always by the chapstick in my country, but that old lady... priceless.
Legendslayer222 26
What a ridiculous old lady. You need to think about these things at least three times, why is she being so reckless at her age?