Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
Oliver_Bento 3
I agree! It's not an insult it's the truth! It is too late for those, and the truth is no reason to commit an assault against a complete stranger!
KitKat_LOL 6
He obviously already already popped that open...so he shouldn't have been mad
mowmowlife 21
Since when is it your place to cast judgement on people? From this FML I'm actually gleaned some of your sore pulpiness and can definitively say that I dislike you and that you suck. Unless you were having a terrible day and your mom just died. But in that event, you should have been humbled rather than douchefied
shamonie22 9
You so deserved this! Some people need to learn to mind their own business. Just because she looks like a teenager doesn't mean she's a teen. If people would pay attention to their own sh*t then the world would be better and there would be less feud.
Roo79 1
You're a freakin shit pellet! Buying condoms is a good thing! I highly doubt you got the shit beat out of you in the middle a store.....just saying. ....ruffed up a bit maybe. Quit commenting on strangers life choices and they won't retaliate! Its simple! !!
savfd645 7
Guess you didn't say it low enough. You deserve it.
Junizumi4 3
woulda said the same thing, if she was ghetto,
mxcryz93 6
Dude I would said the same thing!
braddah112233 1
Should just keep your mouth shut next time
Tacolife54 0
damn thats the most number of YDI's ive ever seen. but OP, keep your words to yourself