Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
_overandout_ 10
I might have had the same thought, but I've learned to not say everything I think out loud :P - Also, if she's trying to prevent Baby - the Sequel, who are we to judge?
JonniBoyy 2
You shouldn't have said that but that definitely doesn't deserve an ass beating. Learn to fight buddy.
iRatedxR 2
??? You guys actually think the Poster is the douche ? He's ******* right , the go should have used some condoms . ******* Generation
katiewally 6
She may have been raped before which wouldnt have been h own fault you idiot!
wanted4myeyez 7
Hopefully it took that beating to remind you mind your own damn business!! YDI!
5t3ff1k4h 47
You're right, it is a little late for those and I'd have thought the same thing. Next time though, keep your thoughts to yourself. Murphy's law - even if you think no one heard you, chances are someone heard you. You're allowed to think whatever you want but if you say something out loud, even quietly, it's your own fault if someone overhears and gives you shit. Sorry.
goujee 2
Ouch
krs7g4 8
This bothers me. Seriously-- How many of you commenters had sex in your teens? I'm betting a good 60%, (and I'm lowballing it) and most of you didn't get pregnant or get someone pregnant so you're allowed to judge? **** you guys. I never had to go through the struggle of being a teen mom, but just because I didn't get the real consequence for sex does not mean that I'm any better than any of the teens having sex now. I was a birth control baby. Sometimes things don't work out; she could have even been raped and just had a supportive boyfriend. You don't know, and therefore, have NO right to judge.
brokenintopieces 5
becareful of what you say next time
MetalCraze 11
When my best friend was 16 his mother had another baby. They all went out to dinner one night and people were whispering like it was his and he was with an older woman. So don't judge it may be the teens sister or brother.