Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
MonsterCommenter 4
You sir, have reached level 99 of Assholishness and YDI.
mpsteve137 15
I wish I could hit YDI twice. Douche.
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Comments (231)
deborable 3
Just because soms people here have been mistaken for à teenager does not mean this girl wasnt one.. You had every right to mutter that because to be honest, you were NOT WRONG! And her boyfriend immidiatly kicking your ass means they were both stupid douchebag people who need to let other people their opinion go.. Fighting over something that was clearly true, rude but still true.. I SAY FYL INDEED!
mirandylyn 1
I would've said the same thing!
FalconSam1414 19
You really should mind your own business, OP. YDI for being a nosey little fucktard.
KaitlynNeal 13
Im sorry but im crying im laughing so hard
KitKat_LOL 6
Speak the truth and nothing but the truth
nora2011 4
A nice slice of humble pie...
fuckuimpretty 5
It might of been a rude comment but you didn't deserve to get the shit beaten out of you (might want to keep ur mouth shut next time).
onechance1992 2
I don't understand why everyone is saying he should have minded his own business. This is what is wrong with our country these days. We don't say shit when teenagers are walking around with children, and frankly he had the right to talk shit about them. They're young adults that were irresponsible; use a condom next time dummies.
devore504 7
bottomline is it was none of his bees wax. Not your child not your problem
EvilDave 13
It is his problem when that unwed, teenage mother is collecting welfare paid for by his tax dollars. Bottom line is that I would have knifed her boyfriend/pimp
knick64 7
Getting beat up is how you know you've made a snide comment the right way!