Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
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Top comments
zargon 1
I thought it was common wisdom by now: Don't say negative unless you're willing to accept the possibility that whatever you say applies to the person you're talking to.
Arkluq 2
ALWAYS ASK WHO'S CAR IS IT! God. YDI for being a ******* tard and having a huge mouth.
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Comments (59)
LifeCanSuck789 0
dumbass
scott_m319 0
Her car looked like that? She's braver than you thought.
jcbspence 0
Yeah I know all about it 92 escort wagon 1 year later and a lot of saving I bought a 88 trans am yet whenever I drive the wagon I still get laughed at
sorrowevicteon 9
It may be your fault, but that should be something you can recover from... Conversation starters may be more dangerous than they appear...
Chixken 6
I guess your not getting a second date.
peanutfoo 19
Smooth.
Sacytrl 28
Take this piece of advice. Insulting the properties of others does not make you any attractive. In fact, it will do the exact opposite.
Tripitaka 21
no second date for you!
TrentJ 12
Most FMLs could be avoided if people wouldn't be rude