Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
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Top comments
zargon 1
I thought it was common wisdom by now: Don't say negative unless you're willing to accept the possibility that whatever you say applies to the person you're talking to.
Arkluq 2
ALWAYS ASK WHO'S CAR IS IT! God. YDI for being a ******* tard and having a huge mouth.
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Comments (59)
zargon 1
I thought it was common wisdom by now: Don't say negative unless you're willing to accept the possibility that whatever you say applies to the person you're talking to.
derschadenfreude 5
you're right, zargon. Man, I'm really sick of these "I said something derogatory about (object). It was his/hers. FML." There are enough of them here to start a site called "Itwastheirs"
Reyo 2
There REALLY needs to be a law about this sorta thing. Like Murphey's law, only it refers to the probability that the object you're dissing belongs to the person you're trying to get sticky with.
robdoggstge 0
lol is that what were calling it niw.. sticky lll
Loosechange 0
Well Zargon it is not all bad he could recover and say that if they were dating she knows he would be honest on the slight chance it would work. But it probably wouldn't .
Vintage_Cola 29
That's kinda why I fear for this generation Example..Ahem Friend: Look at dat stupid bitch ass hoe, mmm dat ass! Me: that's my girlfriend....
TylerSK 0
Dude.... That Blows.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
makes up for the fact that she won't. ^_^ oh yeah, i went there..
SpazzyJazzy325 0
well at least something's getting blown, cause obviously he aint
RedJester23 6
ur not getting any for a llloooonngg time bro
Arkluq 2
ALWAYS ASK WHO'S CAR IS IT! God. YDI for being a ******* tard and having a huge mouth.
shockcrow 0
nice move
dacho 7
Wait what?
penelope_fml 2
yeah, what?
FML_babe 0
well my car is a piece of crap! so if someone said 'hahahahaha look at that pile of junk' I'd laugh and say 'yeah that's my pile of junk!' I do love my car but that doesn't stop it from being crap!!!
StaticDown 0
Exactly, I understand how some people can have crap cars, and I've had cars in terrible states but I'd still laugh at someone else and I'd laugh at my car and I wouldn't feel that awkward if someone laughed at my car, I'd tell them it was mine and laugh about it. Now if they made a comment like 'what kind of a loser drives a car like that' or something that hints to the owner then I'd be well pissed.
afrikaaner 0
Fail!
perdix 31
She should have laughed it off and retorted, "At least it's paid for." (Maybe you ought to buy her the bumper sticker.) Anyway, she's planning on you buying her a nice, new one, someday. If not you then, some other dude. #8 and #9, 2 in a row from South Africa? Hou gaan dit, meisies?
afrikaaner 0
Goed dankie, self?
GrimGothicAngel 0
you have to buy her one eventually then friend ;)