Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
Today, I was walking home from when I passed an old woman sitting on the curb of Walmart begging for change. I gave her my last dollar and felt good about it. Five minutes later I saw the same woman driving away in a car. I don't even own a car. FML
Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML
Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML
Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML
Today, a couple of friends and I were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car that had stopped to help her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
raw_tigahh 2
score?
astro_plastic 0
Aileen Wuornos FTW. (I doubt anyone will get that. No one here seems to share my serial killer interest.)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
Mankbeast 0
lolz that sucks
jayjaysmokerson 0
today I was forced to talk to a prostitute for a few seconds fml? boo fcking hoo man! FHL that she had to talk to you!
imdeborah 0
um, actually #10, he felt thought that she was an ordinary woman who's car broke down. no, instead he ended up with a damn hooker. most likely, he had to drive her to someplace. THAT SUCKS. I would deffinitely not want a hooker in MY car.
Horney4her69 0
it does suck, but I bet she does too. badaboom.. how much did it cost you?
mfmylifesrsly 30
hahahaha did you help her succeed in her job?
cgysoccerfreak 0
lucky guy
cater2U 0
so how is this an fml? you helped a hooker without wanting her services in return. that's a good thing last time I checked
silvermoonstar3 3
I don't see how that's a FML unless you got arrested.
Alpha35 4
Last time i remembered paying a female to do sexal favors isn't really something to be happy or proud of....... all because it means you can't get none
FYLDeep 26
She's the one offering a ride.
gregar00 1
well??? did u bang her?
kenzie15 0
haha good one Horney4her69
natepyron 0
her car was fine..
damienwatkins 0
at least the car was ok... right?
ReyEr9412 0
Lol @59 pun
TypicalCat 0
That's what I call an opticle Illusion but if you saw a woman on the side it the road she was most likely dressed like a ***** where you lookin for some road head for your good deed?
jetpackzach 5
#11 is 100 percent win.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Why would he have to drive her someplace? It wasn't her car; she was outside working. If he took her anywhere, it's because he wanted to.
exoticfuck 0
ughh guys clearly this is a fml cuz he got a std. atleast you were tryin to do the right thing and got your job done. did it blow? YDI FOR HAVING FRIENDS THO
deathcab7 0
so did youu give her a ride, alll the way home?
killerviral 0
did u take her home
gomego87 0
YDI for hanging out with friends.
Peacemaker9 7
wow sounds like a great night to me lol hung out with friends then helped a hooker....... yep definitely sounds like a great night
infinitii 0
maybe check what the f she is wearing next time YDI
Renesaga 8
Maybe this is a sign for Virgin-Man? Prostitute + you (Virgin-Man) = BAM! Or bang.
hihoney07 0
AHHHhahahaha!! that is awesome!
yourlifesfucked 0
past. not pass. sorry =( had to.
iGreen_Day 0
Oh my god what happened I accidentally picked up a hooker. One that is paid to give ******** and handjobs and other things. =O oh noo poor mee
sashalynn 0
yourlifesfucked- it's actually passed. Past is after-tense, passed is a verb. Gezz, if you wanna be a Grammar-Nazi, at least do it right. :-)
sullysair123 19
igreenday: if you want to correct people, do it right..,OP said drove PASS, not drove passed, and besides, drove PASSED isn't right anyways
raw_tigahh 2
score?
Tht_one_crazyj 0
high five u hit tht ?
lexiieeex3 32
What I wanna know is how exactly you found out...
PrincessCastiel 27
^ Maybe when she started stating her prices?
Jazzaka 0
How is this an FML?
lovespacy 0
wow.
fisheatsbear 6
ydi for picking up strangers
Crucifictorious 0
who says she was attractive? come on, not all hookers look like Julia Roberts.
astro_plastic 0
Aileen Wuornos FTW. (I doubt anyone will get that. No one here seems to share my serial killer interest.)
Judokalikewhoa 0
Really? cause shes actually fairly famous especially because of that movie Monster. girl get molested girl runs away from home girl starts hooking for a price, your life!
astro_plastic 0
Yep. My life exactly. But I was talking more about the FML commenter demographic..
heyred 11
I do!
astro_plastic 0
:D
MQ_was_here 0
Hey, I'm with you on the bit about criminal fascination. I read cases off Tru TV's Crime Library site when I'm bored.
iamchuck 0
I used to know a one legged hooker named Aileen.
astro_plastic 0
I hope she replaced her stub with a machine gun.
iamchuck 0
She should get a machine gun too.
astro_plastic 0
I was Cherry Darling for Halloween. So many high fives that night.
Eddie_Paints 0
@ Plastic, So you know killers? Ever hear of Belle Gunnes or Winnie Ruth Judd? Female serial killers WAY before Aileen W. Oh yeah, I almost forgot Martha Beck!
astro_plastic 0
Of course I know them. I have this big book on female killers, black widows, etc. I brought up Aileen because she killed men she hooked.
MQ_was_here 0
Whoa, what is this book called? That is pretty badass.
Eddie_Paints 0
Be still my beating heart! Astro, you look like a Femme Fatale yourself,I mean that in a nice way!!
astro_plastic 0
@ MQ: I'm going to look for it, it's somewhere in my mountain of dusty books. @ eddie_paints: and I am sort of obsessed with femme fatales (in film- they're more glamorous and ridiculous) so THANK YOU SO MUCH for saying so. Made my day :)
ImaginaryFoe 1
Astro, was it "Women Who Kill" or "Murder Most Rare"? Those are two I have. I have a thing for femme fatales, too.
purplemnm 9
what did you do for the machine gun leg? 0_o
astro_plastic 0
I hacked off my own leg and replaced it with a machine gun, of course. No, I painted one on a black knee-high boot. It came out pretty well!
jawa6306 0
This is epic something... I just haven't decided what yet...
hihoney07 0
pretty sure it's an fml if they didn't WANT a hooker. don't question. just giggle.
CallMeHush 1
So what did it cost you?
deepunder 17
A fun ride, then a ride back to where she came from.