Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
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Top comments
zargon 1
I thought it was common wisdom by now: Don't say negative unless you're willing to accept the possibility that whatever you say applies to the person you're talking to.
Arkluq 2
ALWAYS ASK WHO'S CAR IS IT! God. YDI for being a ******* tard and having a huge mouth.
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Comments (59)
Br0wnPr1d3 0
What is up with all these poorly written FML's lately? You guys should really re-read your post before you hit submit.
YayAmerica 0
She's a student. She probably wouldn't have the luxury of a nice car. That was really thoughtless of you.
BikerMike 0
In college I drove a Mercury Bobcat station wagon (a classier Pinto) for two years. The car was my high school graduation present and it cost my mom only $75. In those two years only one girl ever went out with me and that is because she did not know what I drove. The people who judge others by how much their cars are worth/cost are some ignorant pieces of donkey shit. I hope you had a nice long laugh you ******* ********.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
As long as it could run I'd buy it for $75! As long as it gets you from point A to point B. Plus, you can buy something better after you graduate and utilize your college education.
Royal_Blue 4
Ahh....this is why you don't insult things on a first date. You never know who/what she might hold dear.
PhillyFox 0
Keep your big mouth shut next time. Some people can't afford nice cars like you can.
Phinehas 0
You mean, like his parents can. This loser isn't capable of earning any money for himself.
thebigslim 13
So when is the second date?
snafu57 1
someday you can both look back on this and laugh. if there is a second date.
BillieJean96 0
i dont get this FML....?
Alexweber929 14
Really?
blueknight1st 26
Way to show her just how immature you are and on a first date no less.
i_say_rawr 0
there is NO WAY you'll ever get a second date with her, YDI