Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
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Top comments
zargon 1
I thought it was common wisdom by now: Don't say negative unless you're willing to accept the possibility that whatever you say applies to the person you're talking to.
Arkluq 2
ALWAYS ASK WHO'S CAR IS IT! God. YDI for being a ******* tard and having a huge mouth.
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Comments (59)
skyeyez9 25
my dad bought me a white chevette for my 16th birthday. it was in good condition, no dents, paint was nice, interior clean. It had no power steering and I got teased by some kids for driving it. Funny thing was the guys teasing me didn't even have a car or license even though they were old enough!
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
I drove a pretty shitty car when I was 16, too. It worked well, but wasn't anything amazing to look at. I was still grateful for not having to take the bus though. I find it funny how the people making fun of ugly cars are sometimes the ones without a car. They're thinking "haha, what an ugly car" while i'm thinking "haha, at least i have a car"
Alexweber929 14
My first was a 1990 ford f-250, its passenger side door couldnt open cayse the dent in the front fender wouldnt let it, the tailgate was gold, the hood was red and the rest was blue and white, it got 8 miles to the gallon through the 5.8 litre v8, it had a top speed of 90 but it could tow practically anything, or haul about 15-20 people around town, i bought it from a contractor so I has to cover up all of the phone numbers on the sides with walmart spray paint that was almost a match, I bought it with 300000 miles and drove it to 450000 before it blew up at 12500 feet in the mountains west of estes park colorado, but thats the only time it ever left me stranded and the bench seat in the front was wide enough that me, at 6'2 could almost lay out, her name was the taxi to my freands and I still miss that old truck
errrratic 0
YDI for going on a date with a girl that owns a shitty car. YDI for pointing OUT her shitty car.
RFreedom 0
materialistic asshole
UnivBrat72 0
dude dump the broke bitch WTF if she can't take care of her car, her cooch is probably a wrecked up mess too
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
quality of a person's car =/= quality of their cooch
Phinehas 0
Like you would know.
bds0688 0
Why does everyone expect people here to double check what belongs to who before saying something? Everyone drives a piece of shit at some point. The ones that don't are the people who don't know what hard work or sacrifice are. Fact. If she couldn't chuckle at that or make a witty retort then good riddance for no second date. Only a frigid **** would be offended by that. My first three cars were ugly pieces of shit. Two of them ran flawlessly, reliably, and had working heat for the winter. I made jokes about them all the time. And OP isn't being a materialistic asshole for making a comment about a car. People thinking that are dumber than words can describe sufficiently.
zargon 1
I never said that everyone needs to double check before saying anything. All I said is that, if you say something derogatory, be prepared for it to apply to your audience. Feel free to say what you want. ****, I do it all the time. Just know, like I do when I say this shit, if someone gets offended, it's a YDI, not a FML.
harleyv91 4
asshole
bds0688 0
For making an off-hand comment about a random car? Or are you the type to believe he should always worry about if something will offend a new date. Especially something that ******* dumb. Idiot.
Corrupt_Tears 0
Oh don't worry. If the girl is normal, she wouldn't been offended. She probably realizes it is a piece of junk.
Phinehas 0
You're an idiot. Any reasonable person would be offended by this.
Phinehas 0
YDI for being a vain, arrogant snob. A lot of people can't afford fancy new cars, unlike you they don't have wealthy parents who buy them everything they want. Anyway, the joke's on you. While you may not have noticed, Babylon is collapsing. The economy is in literal free-fall and the government will never be able to repay what it is borrowing. Its only a matter of time before the companies in your parents' portfolio go bankrupt and the government can't afford to pay the police or military. Once this happens honest people will drag you and your family out of your fancy house and brutally kill you. You deserve it for robbing us over your lifetime.
painandpeace 0
Phinehas, bit of an overreaction there, maybe? He just had a case of word vomit. It's not like he knew it was her car before he said anything. Hence, the FML. He just needs to be careful with what he says.
muffinsareyummy 1
sorry we all can't afford ford focuses like you, sweetie.