Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, while studying pictures of a cadaver for an anatomy class, I found myself jealous of its thigh gap. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
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Top comments
nooneknowsmyname 0
heh and he's dead too
jessicaislameee 0
its okay. we're on the same boat
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Comments (189)
redSquirrel 0
Well, on the bright side, you've reduced your chances of getting a cold, flu, etc.
CritDragon 0
You must be ******* my mum
MADISAYSYDI 0
Oh, and #51, I called that number...and I think your mom answered, HA!
Azurett 0
These types of FMLs are getting way too old. They are not funny. I could make up hundreds of these.
xiloveyoux3 0
wow, how is that even possible? I'm sure some time in your entire life, somehow, for maybe even a second you infact HAVE at least held hands with a real life boy. And if somehow you really haven't held hands with a guy...you must be REALLY ugly =X
Sweet_child_NOT 0
#75, that's really.....clinical......
redbluegreen 41
I can't help but thinking, at least you didn't say you proceed to realize you'd never held hands with a boy. Just sayin'.
Funny_Face 0
See, this is going to be me. I am only 14, but I will someday be you. No matter how hard I try not to be...my life is ******!
spillproof 0
NO. YDI. Get a life. There are too many "first times" around here. They are beginning to smell. I find them very hard to believe.
angel03260 0
epic fail....