Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, while studying pictures of a cadaver for an anatomy class, I found myself jealous of its thigh gap. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
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Top comments
nooneknowsmyname 0
heh and he's dead too
jessicaislameee 0
its okay. we're on the same boat
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Comments (189)
ticklemeblueee 0
life is rough :[ but you should get out there. FYL though.
acerock 0
I have a friend just like you and she is reallllly shhyy and has anxiety problems. But, she is a terrific and attractive young lady. Don't worry about! Just relax.. boys aren't always monsters! But that doesn't mean I think you should call that random bloke who gave you his number.. haha.
Gabby125 0
What about your dad? Grandpa? Possible brother or guy friend? I find it pretty hard to believe that you've never had any male figure in your life.
MR_Anderson 4
Hey OP, i would be a Junior in college (had i not enlisted in the Marines) but i too have never held hands with a member of the opposite sex (in my case females). also my freshman year of college was the first time i had ever seen a ******, however it was on the corpse of an 89 year old woman in a cadaver lab...some motivating Human Anatomy right there...i feel your pain....you can hold my hand if it would make you feel better.
Button_x 0
HOLY you have real human skeletons in your college?! And I thought dissecting frogs was bad.
Visualize 0
You should have made him finger you. That really would have got the juices flowing.
meriadoc2 0
well whoop de do you have no love life. Seriously, this is NOT fml worthy. Go post your sad story on match.com. There are so many fmls like this like 'this is the first time i kissed a woman' and its like their grandmother, or something lile that ugh. This is not a place for pity. This did not make me laugh nor feel bad for you
kingbeau 0
Mmmmm... nope! Nobody has gotten through life up to that point without holding a male child's hand or their father's/older brother's/uncle's hand (as a child)... Now if you mean you've never held hands with a guy you had sexual/romantic feelings for, then I'd suggest you might want to look into why you'd feel sexually/romantically attracted to a skeleton such that you would count it as your first hand-holding experience with a "boy".... Just saying... Either that or you're just REALLY not a hand holder and if that's the case then its not really a problem...
so_me_fml 0
Well, I'm on your side OP. I was 21 the first time I held hands with someone I actually cared about :) ...but it wasn't with a dead guy. In my case, and possibly yours too, it just meant I knew what I wanted and wouldn't settle for anything less. Apparently you think this is an FML. I just think it's holding out. If you REALLY wanted a boyfriend, you could settle, and have one in no time. The right one will come along, and he will be well worth your wait.
sweetangel_12320 0
o totally saddness, I am sorry to hear that :-( but it may be a good thing, don't hold someones hand unless they are worth it and you haven't found the right person yet