Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML
Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML
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Top comments
randomchickkk 0
you lock lips with your family?
DudeBTM 8
So you "locked lips" with family before?
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Comments (147)
randomchickkk 0
you lock lips with your family?
firetruckinaweso 0
that's gross.
xxsarahfxx 6
who locks lip with their family?
mtlooney225 0
he's probably from Arkansas. it's normal there
LeStab 4
haha that's funny
icantellu 7
Lmfao. That's what I was gonna say! saved me time. thanks haha
Enderspeaker 2
eeeeexactly
Glassmaster 0
Oh look. They're from Tennessee.
sxe_beast 11
KISSING COUSINS FROM GOOD OLE WEST VIRGINIA!
RinaRina 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
properly like when e/she was a kiddo and got night kisses, quit tge dirty minds guys :)
MurphyS94 4
Yeah 15, for us here in Arkansas, it's completely normal. I married my cousin and had a deformed baby just the other day...
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I know a friend who kisses her rents smack dab on the lips. it's dissssgusting if you ask me
sheethapins 13
34, I live in Tennessee and that doesn't happen here... unless it's Summertown or Pulaski...
EvilPotato 15
American cousins!
herrobear 0
Tongue?
ErbodyLuvsDaLulz 4
I live in Arkansas, and I don't believe I've ever locked lips with my family.
nate_msm 0
incest is best. if your bot good enough for your own family then who's family would you be good enough for,
BlackAngel69_fml 6
sadly it happens a lot in Kentucky
MrSassypants 34
56 what's the deformed baby's name?
roxy55 0
really?
macca1234 1
it states they locked lips though
mikeyb102 0
yeah that's probably way east tennesse.. crazy hill folk..
itman3456 0
it depends how old
Mubus 0
130: Is that B.C Lara with woman and Barack Obama holding the Cricket bat?
kei1108 13
I don't think OP meant lock lips with family! He meant just kiss on the cheek. LOL! He seriously miswrote this FML.
fluorescentadole_fml 8
o my god! are you trini?!
Twigz666 18
He wouldn't kiss a CPR dummy on the cheek
alex47625 22
Gross
Exobadger 15
Or west Virginia
DudeBTM 8
So you "locked lips" with family before?
whiteboy7thst 2
Incest...
JDintheHOUSE 2
yay incest! did the mannequin use tongue?
enonymous 9
What I want to know is if it was a female dummy was it the upper or lower lips.
7dsytheory 3
she is southern lol
riceicle1 6
Least it can't complain when you take it home ;)
Zombieslayer1 0
Your picture is sweet^_^
TopherPharmer 0
Haha! So true...
ZX6Rninja 0
my rapist-dar is really going off the charts
alexg823 0
Rape-dar seems like a better name for your contraption.
strangerdanger90 0
hahaha you funny duck you mean contraction
ceddyz17 10
south gunna rise again? haha
ihasbrains 10
Lol. How old are you? Seeing as you're learning CPR.
MurphyS94 4
We learned CPR in the 8th grade...
HyundaiOwner7 0
It could be someone renewing their license... some states require that. I would think they all need to renew it.
ihasbrains 10
It was a serious question. I learned it in 9th grade, so I was wondering if OP was another kid who's bummed that he hasn't had his first kiss yet.
MurphyS94 4
It was a serious answer too...
Iriz 0
Yupz here in California we have to renew it every year in order to work around children like daycares n schools...
Zombieslayer1 0
There is this little thing called incest, anyone ever hear of it?
AnagenisisZagus 13
Hear of it? Nah, but I tend to practice it. Anyone wanna be my sister for a day?
kaleighiscool 0
Um; your quite repulsive, my dear.
AnagenisisZagus 13
My thanks, my thanks. I have been told, I indeed have been told. Yes, yes.
Zombieslayer1 0
I think kaleighiscool would much rather be your momma.
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
pssh thats it? dummys are too good. ;) if you dont want that dummy ill take it. hahaha
Blueglasscup 18
Hey erm this might come off as an odd question but are you really 16? I mean the cars you own and your passion for driving makes you seem older.
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
yes im 16 :) ive been in love with driving since the age of 11 and im just fortunate enough to have what i have. lol
d3vo 0
You've licked locks with your family?!
mmedeiros14 0
He's in Tennessee it's accepted there
CateXOX 0
I've licked a lot more than locks with my family.
blairebourgeois 2
At least it wont cheat on you for once!
Heather_x0x0 6
and why would you lock lips with your family?
RinaRina 9
never had a night kiss as a kid?
hubla 0
never on the lips maybe your different was it your mom, dad, uncle, or step dad that kissed you good night?