Penkkis
Finland
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
lolfayce
United States
Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML
HDCkid
United States
Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML
mack
Canada
Skittish
Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
KWM
United States
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
lonelynessinCA
United States
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
lonesome
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Dude, you OK?
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
Anonymous
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
bottombarrel
Greenville, United States
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Anonymous
Poor choices were made
Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I have to hand it to you, that makes me want to give you the finger. Pathetic losers like you grate on me like nails on a chalkboard. Go somewhere warm and sunny with palm trees, find a cuticle guy, and have some fun! I'm not yelling though...think of this more as a slap on the wrist. Maybe you've left already since you know I'm right.
Llamassss 21
Get a dog.
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Comments (92)
pondermuse 5
That's well creepy...
emilymelizabeth 11
thats really weird you should get a gf/bf.
opendoorclosed 8
You should have bought a plastic "horror ******" in that case.
flamerocker 9
Forever alone...
ImFrackinBored 13
Go to the mall or something xD
sarapsosis 1
yeah go to the mall while holding the plastic hand! yeah! do thaaat! uh huh!!!
Georgieeporgiee 9
Oh god is it bad that I do that too put with one of those hands that hold jewellery:$:$
heilheather 7
Hold hands with yourself like Wall-e :3
xSwaGKinGx 0
forever alone...
BrianAlarcon 0
god gave you a hand..
CryMoreFMLs 15
OP, screw real people. Move to the internet like I did. It's far more accepting of us loners.
flockz 20
internet and hands.... i smell ****.
KatherineAnne 7
I did that once when I was in 7th grade... Back before I was hot when no guy wanted me. Haha :)
Epsilonyx 15
No offense....but that is abhorrently creepy.
iam_yummylicious 12
I find it to be pathetic and tragic more so than creepy.
Epsilonyx 15
Um..I kind of agree now that I think about it.
iAmScrubs 19
Looks like someone is going to get some action tonight!
futtbuck101 1
A horror hand-job.
josh8215 21
At least he might be better in bed than lefty or righty, right? Horror hand knows what the ladies like!
Llamassss 21
Get a dog.
taniyan 1
ew. ********** ;) jk
Alex94xela 0
Did u later try to make him horror finger you?
Kartor 6
Hilarious!
msfattietice 3
LOL nice
DocBastard 40
I have to hand it to you, that makes me want to give you the finger. Pathetic losers like you grate on me like nails on a chalkboard. Go somewhere warm and sunny with palm trees, find a cuticle guy, and have some fun! I'm not yelling though...think of this more as a slap on the wrist. Maybe you've left already since you know I'm right.
clewie 8
Don't quit your day job.
DocBastard 40
Don't quit my day job...to do what? Comment here? Why, do you get paid a lot for commenting? Please tell me how much FML has paid you for your 20 comments! Oh please tell me!
Jimster1712 0
docbastard , you are by far the best fml commentor ever!! RESPECT!!!
SnowFlakeInAK 7
I love you Doc! Clewie,you're obviously new here so I'll give you some noob advice... Don't **** with Doc!!! You will lose,every single time.
clewie 8
Sorry if your horrible puns don't amuse me.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
I find his puns amusing.....
DocBastard 40
Clewie, puns are by their very nature horrible. The great thing about the comment section is that, while you are free to voice your opinion, others are just as free to chime in and disagree with you. Feel free to thumb up all the "lol ur dum" comments you like. They seem to be more along your lines of what constitutes humour.
je_suis_fml 11
damn clewie... I do believe you officially have a new owner.. lol
margie2194 12
Doc, with all due respect that was quite rude...
kaengelangeleyes 9
Well, he IS DocBASTARD, not sure about the literal but clearly in the derogatory sense lol. Its kind of brilliant, despite his perpetual nastiness.
DocBastard 40
Margie, this is the username that was assigned to me, so I assumed that my persona should match the name. If they had given me "DocNiceguy", I'm sure my comments would be much different.
kaileigh33 0
Doc you suck very bad ur not a doctor just dumb
slipknotz 0
Are you sure it isn't your hands that are the "horror hands?"
MagicallyFat 12
No offense but what would that even fulfill? The whole point of holding hands is cause you like the other person