Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, while studying pictures of a cadaver for an anatomy class, I found myself jealous of its thigh gap. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
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Top comments
nooneknowsmyname 0
heh and he's dead too
jessicaislameee 0
its okay. we're on the same boat
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Comments (189)
GMSD213 0
This is FAKE. Im so tired of these FML's where people realize its the first time for something. For instance the FML where the kid sees his mom come out of the shower and realizes its the first woman hes ever seen naked. Come on ive seen too many of these have some originality for Christs sake. OP FML because your stupid and i hate you.
24788 7
You killed him! :(
GMSD213 0
my bad for posting basically the same comment twice...and then proceeding to post a third comment apologizing for the previous 2
carabear555 0
ive seen so many FMLs like this, not exactly like this but a lot like it...
K4yzi3 0
#1: You are so FUNNYY!!!!!!! Skeletons don't have penises though. :|
sondramcfail 0
Aw. :( Even I'll probably have someone by THEN, hehe. (sorry, that was bitchy...)
monkeyz0r 0
wow ive twelve and i have
sirmixalot 0
u must be ugly as hell
MADISAYSYDI 0
Number eleven; Kissing at nine and can't even spell the word 'offence.'
monicamischief 0
wow. that's really pathetic. how the HELL can you be a junior and college and never have had a relationship with a male? are you sure you aren't gay?