Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, while studying pictures of a cadaver for an anatomy class, I found myself jealous of its thigh gap. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML
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Top comments
nooneknowsmyname 0
heh and he's dead too
jessicaislameee 0
its okay. we're on the same boat
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Comments (189)
DreMaMa 0
but did it have a penis?
Sweet_child_NOT 0
ILY #21. You should write children's books. XD The Princess and the Penis By WhiteDelight
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
#23/bco12: Thanks! I was only five years off.
concrete 0
Wow.... I hold hands with my best guy friend almost every day... You'll meet a guy (that's living) soon, OP, that's more than willing to hold your hand :)
meeeep 0
i HATE fml's like these. there was a recent one that was like "my mom walked out of the shower naked. she was the first women ive seen naked in 3 years." and who's fault is that? yeah its yours. it's not that hard to get a boyfriend, you just need to look for the right type. most people who complain about it are looking for they're beautiful dream guy/girl, but the likeliness of that happening is slim. instead of going for the perfect looking guys, go for the nice ones.
DreMaMa 0
Btw funny how a plastic skeleton held more hands then you. FYL
DuotonedRainbow 0
#21, you are my HERO. end of story. ahahahhaaaaaa. thats the funniest shit i've seen on this site in soo soo long.
luckyyyy 0
thats pretty pathetic
Sweet_child_NOT 0
#40, I know, right? This kid needs a show. xD
tweaked5 0
You have saved yourself some heartache.