Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
LookAtMeNow3 5
YDI for snooping.
Jazzalyn 10
FML for being unfortunate enough to find someone like that but YDI for snooping around on your daughter's laptop (because if you didn't you wouldn't have found it.)
kickazz16 15
Lmfao typo -bitch**
leannecloveryau 11
Hey, she's 16, everyone likes reading about sex at that age. Chill.
idealist 6
You are so cruel. That is totally creative of her to write something. I think you're jealous of her talent and you can't look her in the eyes because were turned on by her writing. (Not by her though that would be eww)
Tektite 14
STFU...
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
50 - you're the daughter, aren't you?
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Lolzzzz
Wulf_Reinard 0
Sex isn't something a 16-year-old girl should be getting creative about.
swimmer3141 10
#50, you have a really creepy smile in your profile picture.
valerie11_23 0
Well that's what you get for looking through your daughters stuff
cupcakegirl93 8
I can't believe you are calling your daughter a freak... It's true twilight sucks, but still you should love your daughter no matter what and by calling her a freak and putting this on FML ? It just seems very harsh and not fair to her... That is just my opinion though.
tsume24 3
I'm fairly certain the last line was added by the admins to make it "funnier" or something. it wouldn't be the first time. (I once moderated an FML that had been altered to be more ****** up when it was posted.) not sure why they've started doing that...
cupcakegirl93 8
Oh :/
SplitChris14 0
Honestly the freak is the one who knows that the story is 5000 words.
kickblocker 18
if it was on microsoft word, it says how many words there are toward the bottom somewhere
audreyy062 2
theres word count...
ronkster44 2
Right... You think he actually read it, then thought to himself, "damn, that was long" then went back to count all the words?
RomanBeauty 0
There's a word count on the screen dumbass
triforcebandit 6
Yeah. It's a good thing there's this thing called Word Count though.
2wet2grind 0
Word count maybe?
BehindU 5
shouldn't snoop
TheNewGuy03 29
Yeah, we shouldn't snoop, dawg.
Jenningst 0
Twilight...ruining family ties since '05.
Captain0bv10us 0
Well that stuff was supposed to be private... but erotic twilight fan fiction?? really?