Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML
Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML
Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Get a bug to bite the other boob to even out your organic boob job.
eyepuppy 31
Women will do anything for larger breasts.
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Comments (30)
manofmerr 27
Im sure theres a mosquito bite boob joke in there somewhere, but i cant find it, so instead i'll just wonder why this is a fml? Now if ahe got an infection, or had a wasp sting her, this MIGHT be an fml.
ClairvoyantVamp 19
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the next sighting on your internet safari- the troll! Researches are unable to determine if they are actually idiots or merely act that way to attract prey, so maintaining a safe distance is recommended. Keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times.
manofmerr 27
In my defense, i was sleep deprived, and have been known to be dumb. Fortunately, im now on trollnomore, which is a hell of a drug.
RichardPencil 32
Get a bug to bite the other boob to even out your organic boob job.
Yourheadache 19
organic boob!!! hahahahaha I love this.
RedCronos 17
No need for implants then.
eyepuppy 31
Women will do anything for larger breasts.
Jared900DUmpling 30
Maybe now your boss will give you that raise you've been working towards...
LyricaSilvan 30
Urgh...as though bug bites weren't bad enough on their own. You poor thing. I hope it heals up soon.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Now to find another mosquito to at least even It out
oj101 33
Damn, even a bug got more action than I have within the past year!
Nickimariek 20
I guess that's one way to make your boobs bigger
trucker2 33
Apply band aides until you reach your desired cup size- could work wonders- Dolly Parton top and Kardashian bottom- sorry OP that bites