Miss Clovertown, Clovercity 28 years-old Single
Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML
Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML
Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML
Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML
Today, I got braces fitted. For the next two years, I'll be the most handsome guy on earth. FML
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, I learned that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML
Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, a worker started drilling the road right in front of my window. He stopped 5 minutes before my alarm clock rang. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. I took stupid photos all day long and when came the moment that the bride entered the church, my battery died. FML
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML
Today, my little brother, who is 11, explained to me how babies are made. I’m 15. FML
Today, they finally took my braces off. 7 hours later I fell off my bike and chipped my tooth. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend told me that she can't live without me, but she has another boyfriend. FML
Today, while on holiday in England, a cute boy came up and asked where I'm from. When I said Paris, he gave a look and said, "Oh, strange, I always thought Parisians were the most beautiful women in the world." FML
Today, my wisdom teeth decided to come in. I didn't know that being wise could hurt so much. FML
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
Today, I found out my "best friends" have gone on a crazy weekend and they didn't invite me. FML
Today, I crawled into bed at 2 in the morning. At 6 am, the telephone rang, waking me up. It was a wrong number. FML
Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML
Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
