Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
smexehXredhead0 0
That's really creepy...
heresIsaac 4
instead of snooping, you should have been in the kitchen making her a sandwich
cameron194 9
lol your a bad father OP.. one , for raising her like tht, and, two , for not accepting how she's turned out asshole
frankboy 0
disagree. your not a bad father, just curious to what shes up to. teenagers are not easy to talk to.. their ungrateful as**oles
cameron194 9
OP still o's a bad father, even if my daughter did enjoy twilight to that extent, I'd still accept it even though I hate it.. OP is immature for callin his daughter a freak..
audreyy062 2
48- i agree
YayFlameWarz 9
your and you're are two different things.
da_cookie_monsta 1
21, please finish your sentence about teenagers ungrateful assholes.
taytay84 0
Their? Or they're? btw, not ALL teenagers are ungrateful.
Beebow_fml 5
41-I'd be a disappointed father if my son took semi-naked photos of himself posing in a mirror while slightly hunched over in an attempt to make non-existant muscles appear while wearing ridiculous jewelry and having a MySpace girl face.
Beebow_fml 5
14/48*
damian25 0
not really immature, just a dick
davidisbeast 12
152 FTW! Lol
frankboy 0
105 and 149, if i wanted a spelling test ill make sure i come to you. MOST teenagers are ungrateful. sh*t
somethinorother 0
No they aren't. I hate narrow minded people like you who believe crap like that.
baden18830 5
rofl if the 15 year old Johnny Bravo wannabe says you're a bad father he must know what he's talking about. God I wish I looked as cool as that kid. *facepalm*
dd809 9
Nice to see there's at least one other educated person here
blahahahaSadFace 0
well that's bx your a closed minded jack ass that is part of this worlds problem. closed mindedness is a deseas that needs to be shit in the face but you dint see all us disappointing teenagers shooting people such as your self do you? so why don't you do as you were taught in kinder" if you got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" or how about that pretty golden rule " treat others the way you want to be treated" unfortunately I never learns the first one but as you can see I've learned the last one pretty well. :)
babycakesy 0
agreed.
Fou_fml 0
152- hahaha nice!
sydneyhaha 4
Do you think I'm gonna read all that. No.
kensikos 6
Anal?
iparker97 0
Lol this made me laugh
Baby_Doll24 2
Wait, you've never had a fantasy before? Most girls do. Guess what, she's just like every other twilight fan out there.
rattusrattus 19
One would hope that and hypothetical offspring of mine have normal fantasies like whips, chains, crossdressing, rough sex. Not a sparkly abusive stalker and a pedowolf with boundary issues. On the other hand, if it was m/m slash, your daughter is cool on the simple grounds that crazier Twilight fans and Meyer herself are extremely heteronormative. So its head spinning time. You kinda deserve it for snooping, OP. But I approve of you calling Wardo and Jacob 'weirdos'.
theten_fml 9
I don't think every other twilight fan out there writes a 5000 word story about how they would keep their vampire shiny and tame their wolf..... But that's just my opinion
HSOMGF 5
You're the freak for snooping on your teenage daughter's computer. YTDI. Shut up.
RavenNight 0
many teen girls fantasize about some hot guy they see on the media. its not her being a freak shes just bring a teenage girl with hormones. and hey, at least shes writing instead of looking a ****
Bcfrmkc816 17
Hrs not.a snoop she is a creeper and needs help and it is normal for a father to check out what his daughter is doing. Same as before if it was a guy that did that to some hot chicks y'all would be calling him a perv weirdo and pedo
heresIsaac 4
should have rewritten it
mrdiehler 0
Something is seriously wrong with those books I think maybe there some kind of mind control
SugarCrazy 14
I find your profile image very distracting/disturbing @_@ It's borderline pornograpic. Looks like a buff guy wearing a long sleeved onesie...
Jordyn345 4
How the hell did u know it was 5,000 words??
Shrike 24
a little feature called "word count", maybe
kickazz16 15
Its probably on a word document, so it says in the little corner how many characters/words.
lyskiss 10
the word count at the bottom..?
xcarxcrashx 9
Or gosh perhaps he exaggerated or estimated. Take a chill pill.
ameanberg 1
Word count genius.
jermish 0
It's stated at the bottom, ms word has a word count function.
live4tomorrow 7
Lawl, FAIL. dx
kawaiianime 5
Welcome to this generation. Embrace the vampires! :D
xrainbowshadowx 17
No, just no. Twilight has nothing to do with vampires, as a matter a fact, it KILLED vampires. The proper words to describe these creatures are sparkling fairies.
koolkat27 13
twilight ruined the whole entire concept of vampires. vampires used to be scary and badass, and now they've morphed into gay, sparkling *******.
abouttofly 12
Do you have something against gay people?
Bleachfan_fml 0
There's no more good horror in the theaters anymore. Saw, you will be missed. Anyway, Twilight ruined both werewolves and vampires for me. Darren Shan wrote some good vampire/werewolf stuff, The Demonata and Cirque de Freak.
EnterNameHere001 5
Shut the **** up it's an expression it doesn't mean literal offense towards gay people.