Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
kittea86 0
agree w 48 hes an immature ass for calling her a name. id like to see what ****** up stuff he was into when he was her age.
Bently24 6
Why on earth would you call your daughter a freak? She must of learned from you
corruptblackkat 17
just curious why is this an fml again...
BbqKirbyAnn 0
Yeh, I used to write in a journal everynight. For hours. I had quite a few piled up just from high school. My mom wanted to know what I'd been up to so she read them. All of them. I quit writing till I got married and my husband wants to read everything I write. So I don't write. Open people's eyes when they read what goes on in a loved ones head life. I like the comment to rewrite some of it...and at the very end put your initials
chelseaaababyyy 17
shes not the only one /:
GuitarGeek44 3
Twilight makes girls fantasize about those gay guys that aren't really vampires/werewolves. This is why she is most likely single
minaa23 3
HAHAHA! that's actually pretty funny but also messed up...obsession to a whole new level =p
coconutconsumer 3
Snoop on other people's computers, get freaked out. This is how life works. God, you're a jerk...
PsychoticAsylum 26
You, ma'am, have made my day(Or night).
ejr07 2
WTF u hav got to be kidding me... Ur seriously making Fun of ur daughter and calling her a freak for doing something that's somewhat normal for a teen girl.... Ur the most terrible mother in the world