Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
alexiskimbrell 0
Invading her privacy like that? Everyoneeee has weird things about them that they don't share with anyone. (I.E dark secrets, fetishes, etc) That's your own fault, and your relationship with your daughter is now tarnished because you can keep your eyes to yourself. Congrats dude
emsiti 6
i bought my own laptop when i was 13 took many hours of labour to get it im noy saying op was right do it but he may have juat been making sure she wasnt going on those websites when he stummbled on it
ideasrule 13
And if she was snooping around on your computer, are you confident that she wouldn't find anything disturbing? It's your fault for betraying your daughter's trust and opening files you weren't supposed to be opening.
MrMeinHerr 0
I recommend you lighten up. Sexual fantasies are normal for adolescents. It's no surprise a teenaged girl is turned on by Twighlight characters; that was intended by the creators, after all!
mrspeacock_fml 0
Did you read all 5000 words? kinky
katkev 5
You're a freak, pedo!
nerdsgetmehot 23
Guess what? Your daughter is a perfectly normal human being. Human beings have sexual urges. Yes, it's a shame that she seems to have a "Twilight" fetish, but it shouldn't be a surprise to you that your teenage daughter gets horny. My mother found my slightly weird Supernatural fanfiction and, being the good mother that she is, never said a word about it.
FuckOffNoob 6
lol my brother has the same problem.
zachmofo 0
Dammit.
lockthedoor 0
It's your fault for not being a better parent
Minerva07 2
What kind of a parent are you to call your own daughter a freak?! EVERYONE has weird fantasies, it's part of growing up and figure out where you stand sexually. Besides, your being an idiot and only looking at the situation from the surface. Yes, Twilight sucks as a book ( I read that damn thing so I have a right to say that). Edward represents a "prince charming" character while Jacob is the "loyal slightly rebellious best friend". You can find the types in any series, movie or show AND in real life. However due to the fact that Edward and Jacob are fiction she is more likely to write about them because she may feel awkward using boys from her day to day life. Twilight just happened to be the series she was into when these fantasies can to light. Also, think of it this way; would you rather her write about it, or go out and actually HAVE a threesome with REAL boys putting her at risk for REAL STDs and PREGNANCY. If her writing you bothers you so much then don't snoop around her stuff. My mother found the notebook collection where my friends and I would write our role plays when I was 14 and those things are rated at least R, more likely NC-17. Being a SUPPORTIVE parent she jokingly mentioned it and never brought it up again. You need to put on your big boy panties and either talk to your daughter or pretend you never saw the damn thing, if you don't then in a few years you are likely to not have a relationship with her at all.
blahahahaSadFace 0
agreed!!!