Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
hopeless321 3
she's 16. what the **** did you expect to find?
Rantarm 4
*after posting this FML, said op printed the paper... Later that night his daughter walks in on him masturbating... to her sex story... Softly moaning "Bella"
i_luv_u3030 3
1. respect her privacy 2. who cares? shes a teenager thats typical 3. why the hell r u calling ur daughter a freak
naiisrandom 7
Ydi for looking through her stuff breh. :/
dragutz95 2
control the urge of snooping around my mom does that and it pisses me off
Bamvytar 0
As if you're perfect, you snoop. How dare you say that about your own daughter, too.
scotchnacid 4
It's ur kid man! WTF is wrong wit u?!
goneblue 3
**** you for A snooping in your daughters privacy and B calling your own child a freak
neotwinky 0
Ok I understand u r freaked out by ur daughters obsession to that horrible series and how far it went. But it's way worse for you to make a comment like how did I raise this freak. I'm sorry (to fml) but ur a big arrogant ass whole with a one track mind to dip shitted to stop and talk to your daughter to explain to her why this is a strange way to like something. Go F$:& yourself you piece of trash parent who has no right having a child. And to everyone else I will defend him for one thing. A couple of you are freaking out saying why do you know it's 5000 words u freak. Well he was cleaning her computer and word count has been around for some time now. EVERYBODY GET ONE!!!
Levvy 22
And English lessons have been around for even longer, but you aren't taking advantage of those either.
imac619 2
Ahhh haaa...One you raised a child who can't even click install because she's stuipd and she's being used as finger cuffs by made up people......You have failed.