Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
superfluousfrog 6
Wow, way to be a judgemental jerk. Okay, Twilight is a shitty excuse for literature, but that's no excuse to call her a freak for something that, in the end, you'd never have even known if you hadn't been snooping.
patriciadusud_fml 8
Most of the people, probably you included, have secret sexual fantasy much worst than this one....... And posting your daughter's fantasy is just insane.... It is privacy.... Respect your daughter.
drwcomics 1
She's a teenager. Hormones are abound. Either get over it, or stop snooping, asshole. Exploring her sexuality doesn't make her a freak. It just makes you an ignorant meathead for thinking so.
xRoxxxyy 1
haha funny xD
zombiekitten87 12
1) that's what you get for snooping, 2) you're a jackass for calling your own daughter a freak for just being like a lot of other girls her age. It's not like you found pictures of her screwing the neighbour's dog, so stop being such a judgmental, cruel, dick. Yeah, it's weird and a lot of people would agree and call her a freak, but you're her freaking parent. /rant.
MeGustaFace 0
come on, you never had fantasies bout havin a 3-way with 2 hot chicks when you were her age? (assuming you're the father, not the mother) it's pretty much the same thing, be glad she's channeling those desires into creative writing rather than whoring herself out
penguinazul 13
You know, even if OPs daughter doesn't read this, this is what is now happening to every 16 year old girl that has written an erotic Twilight story that comes on this site: Girl freaks out > falsely accuses Dad about reading story > Dad now finds out about said story that he never read > Girl gets punished for writing an erotic story. OP, you're getting teenage girls in trouble EVERYWHERE.
JordanA1 0
You, my friend, are correct
Mokiikom_fml 8
Ohhh, sure! Because you never ever have a sexual thought, right, oh holy paragon of puritan perfection, huh? I'm sure that whenever you have any sexual urge you run off to purify your innocent mind from anything even remotely sinful, hmm? You're an imbecile, and you have NO IDEA how lucky you are to have a daughter who relieves the natural urges of that age in such a creative and innocent way like writing stories (no one is getting hurt by that!), rather than ******* half the football team in the back of random people's cars and getting pregnant by 14 like so many nowadays. You're a hypocrite and a jerk. I don't care about Twilight, but you are fail.
MrBobby_fml 7
Biggest dick move ever- prying through your child's private writings.
bullrider92 19
She is 16.She is probably sexually active even if just masturbating.Op should just stay out of her personal stuff.