Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (480)
docscientist 10
Right, because your perversions make you less of a freak. Even though twilight is the worst thing ever, stfu and stop trying be be a trendy **** by hating on your daughter to prove how cool you are because you dislike twilight. Oh, and ydi for reading it.
hiLife808 0
YDI for snooping around. You shouldn't snoop if you can't handle what you find. Haven't you ever hear the saying "what you don't know can't hurt you"?
CoverBoy 14
Your fault for educating her to like gay-ish looking vampire/werewolf stereotypes. Should have shown how to play the Xbox and write a 5000 Halo story involving Master Chief :]
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Who does Master Chief get to ram in that story, Caboose? Wow..that actually makes a whole lot of sense all of a sudden.
CoverBoy 14
I doubt the RvB team even met the Chief :/ they don't go to the front lines that much. My bet is on Cortana ;)
mikey561 2
you asked for it you get it don't snoop bro
tragicnightmare 15
shes 16. dude let it go. you have a dirty mind when youre a teenager
BloodyMary666 24
I can´t belive u´re such an incredible a**!!! It´s called FICTION for a reason! I read a lot of fanfiction (although not about Twilight) but that doesn´t mean I do or experience any of these things. U need to learn a lot about acception!
kate3101 15
None of your business. Let the poor kid have a fantasy life. Fanfic isn't exactly a new thing and imagining things and actually wanting to do them in real life are not the same thing. Grow a pair and talk to your daughter like the young woman she is and not the baby you wish she was. Kids grow up. Sometimes they want to do things that you don't approve of. Trufax
jeinnor 0
That freak so happens to still be your daughter regardless if her fantacies. I am pretty certain you had fantasies when u were young. Disappointed I can understand, calling ger a freak I disapprove.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Brad Pitt is a real person. Edward Cullen and Jacob Black are not real people. Their characters aren't even real people, they're vampires and werewolves. And they're not even real ones there either!! Point being, OP can have an opinion. Also, fantasizing about a movie star is not at all creepy, because otherwise said movie stars would be out of a job.
Notorious_Puppy 0
Calling your own child a freak isn't very nice