Today, my now ex-boyfriend said to me, “Who’s your daddy?” during the deed and it was so off-putting, I said my dad's actual name. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while talking to a boy, he asked what my name was and in a state of panic, I said, "Daddy." FML
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. An ex? A friend? A side guy? Nope, none of those. I called him “Dad”. FML
Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, I was having sex with an ex when he whispered in my ear, "Who's my baby?" I, being very bad at dirty talk, said, "You." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
I feel bad for laughing but that's just too funny. Hopefully it'll feel less gross to you as time goes on, and hopefully your next boyfriend will know to discuss kinky stuff *before* doing it.
RichardPencil 32
Before you answered that question, you should have asked if he's going to buy you a car and put you through college. That probably would have killed his boner, too.
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Comments (4)
Anderling 33
I feel bad for laughing but that's just too funny. Hopefully it'll feel less gross to you as time goes on, and hopefully your next boyfriend will know to discuss kinky stuff *before* doing it.
RichardPencil 32
Before you answered that question, you should have asked if he's going to buy you a car and put you through college. That probably would have killed his boner, too.
Justkidding100 41
was this your first time having sex? or even talking about it? this line is so common even on TV that you should have been prepared. I wouldn't even call that kinky
n3rdn3ss 8
Is that why he's your ex?