Today, I was having sex with an ex when he whispered in my ear, "Who's my baby?" I, being very bad at dirty talk, said, "You." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend said to me, “Who’s your daddy?” during the deed and it was so off-putting, I said my dad's actual name. FML
Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. An ex? A friend? A side guy? Nope, none of those. I called him “Dad”. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
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Top comments
PennyLane27 32
Doesn't matter. Had sex.
Justkidding100 41
That's like asking a dog "who's a good boy?" And having him suddenly bark "you are" ??
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Comments (14)
yes31601 16
Never had anyone say that to me during sex. Interesting
DashPlays 18
Not to be rude... buts that's funny
PennyLane27 32
Doesn't matter. Had sex.
draghkar 18
I lol'ed at that. You're awkward, sure, but a awkward is usually pretty good.
Justkidding100 41
That's like asking a dog "who's a good boy?" And having him suddenly bark "you are" ??
rohan111993 13
Sex with an ex?? Bad news
tygerarmy 35
He's your ex, so you're not his baby. Accurate and funny.
Regulate 21
Baby/Daddy in sex talk, why do so many people have such issues? Enjoy that ex peen that is now current peen but somehow also ex peen. Peen.
lilgreenmonster 10
"dammit Sharon this is why we broke up!"
hbs11476 9
No sex with an ex unless you're trying to get back together. Otherwise, you deserved it.
izzajaneful 24
Not everyone has bad break ups, you know.