Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
OK Shaggy
Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML
False alarm
Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML
You dipstick!
Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
Keep walking
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Whoomp whoomp
Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML
We're the main characters
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
Top comments
zaku2capt 1
Sexy catfight at a gas station? At least snacks are close by.
cmihran 1
Well at least you didn't actually get your ass kicked, could of been worse.
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Comments (129)
cmihran 1
Well at least you didn't actually get your ass kicked, could of been worse.
slitherbomb 0
Nonononononono, the girlfriend threatened to kick her ass if she told anyone that she kicked her ass. It just doesn't say it here, because, well, yeah.
imustbeinsane 2
The guy should've gotten his ass kicked, he has some nerve asking women for their numbers when he has a gf, especially in front of said gf. Also the gf is stupid for not realizing she's dating an inconsiderate douche.
YourEvilHero 12
i bet he would be even more impressed if you lifted the hose over your head and drizzled gas Allll over your body. kaboom
SoccerRebel594 0
Today, I was just standing at the gas pump refilling the gas in my car when some random chick starting staring me down. I had no choice but to look back. It got so bad that I had to ask for her number and information so I could report her. Then all of the sudden another strange woman comes up claiming to be my girlfriend! FML
sxe_beast 11
@40 - That reminds me of the gasoline fight in Zoolander.
ktateprado 0
Actually it says she will kick "your" ass bucko.
bosca09 4
You deserved not for not seeing the girl in the car.
jamie72596 9
Wow, he has nerve asking for another girl's number infront if his girlfriend.
Onlynamethatwasn 0
Maybe she's related to red
DeathbatAttack 17
that guy should be dumped
dumaz 2
pwned
ktateprado 0
Pwned.
barbiiee_fml 0
better to look who is in the car with him.
Xaviour 0
I like those ****
loveexgirl 15
He wasn't in the car. He was pumping gas. She was staring at him, not the car.
slitherbomb 0
Idc wat u wrote cant concentrate on spelin ur pic wiht **** so nice
loveexgirl 15
Damn. 27 stop hating. You put me down when I commented on a different FML. Stfu?
OoLogicalOo 4
LOL!!! I had to make an account just to laugh at how stupid you are, he was obv. commenting on the chick with huge **** these comments are under, not you. You are too insecure to see that they look good and people aren't always talking about them. :D No your really stupid, I am still laughing at the stupidity of the comment though
OoLogicalOo 4
the "they and "them" in my last comment are suppost to be you. b/c you are just being insecure... you look good.
OoLogicalOo 4
When I said "no your really stupid" I meant your not really stupid.
loveexgirl 15
Well, he was a bit rude on a different FML where he corrected me about spelling your. Who ******* cares about spelling it your, or you're. So the whole thing about not being able to spell cuz some girl has huge **** just pissed me off.
VeganVampyre 27
I agree with you about him being a hypocrite. However, there is a huge difference between "your" and "you're" and it does matter, especially to someone like me who reads a lot. (And no, I am not saying that in a mean way at all!!! I just mean that when you read a lot, it makes it harder to just overlook spelling/grammar errors because it makes you see the whole comment differently. It's hard to explain.)
TaylorTotsYumm 10
OMG! He commented on my grammar mistakes, it's the end of the world! Why are you getting so butthurt over a /meaningless/ comment?
shannonreneee 11
49, it's the Internet. If you can't handle people saying "mean" things on here how will you ever survive in the real world? Move on, this is FML, people are rude because they can. Have a problem with that? The simply don't comment. Easy.
12dcevin 5
Thats obviously a pic off Internet and there obviously fake
jbaby7892 0
It's still always safe to check so she DOESN'T. Have to wrory about an ass kicking
ktateprado 0
I just ruined the girl talk!
BeastMode5 0
Just because there's a girl in the car doesn't mean it's a girlfriend. She could have thought it was a sister or something.
chelseaaababyyy 17
83 - yeah, especially if he asked for her number in front of the girl. i would assume it was a sister or friend.
zobara 29
I wouldn't just threat...
jacksonclarke 0
So you'd kick the girls arse for flirting with your boyfriend even though she didn't know he had a girlfriend? Whatta head.
iammeat 0
That's because you're a psychotic bitch ho :)
zobara 29
Yep, that's right. So what?
WiderWille 11
Nothing, we just like to point out obvious things.
zaku2capt 1
Sexy catfight at a gas station? At least snacks are close by.
ktateprado 0
I don't know how catfights are sexy. Entertaining but not sexy.
littlestmOnster_fml 1
So there was no actual ass kicken innvovled?
Parazad 16
Quick glances only, OP. Anymore than that is just plain creepy.
jacksonclarke 0
If someone was continuously quickly looking at me and looking away I'd be much more creeped out than just some chick who was obviously just checking out my complete sexiness.
OakChair 14
Either way, it'd be creepy... Constant staring or quick glances, you're being closely watched by someone you don't know. We're assuming OP is attractive, but .. it's still staring unabashedly.
DynamicDave 11
Today, I learned not to be a creeper. MLIG
DynamicDave 11
Seriously? That got moderated? *facepalm* @ OP: Don't be a creeper and you won't get threatened.
OneBigMessUp 5
Lucky you hadn't accepted his number yet.
loveexgirl 15
Haha. You read it wrong, he asked for her number.
OneBigMessUp 5
Oooops :L Thanks for telling me :)
nonelikeworms 0
Yeah you really deserved that unless you didn't see his girlfriend.