Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
sheerem 7
She probably just had diarrhea and didn't want to crap her pants in front of you. Don't take it too seriously.
zachlibby 4
Nothing more romantic than a fart.
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Comments (188)
aro2471 0
either she doesnt care or shes hiding something
TADspace 30
Or she just had to pee? When you gotta go, you gotta go.
ReptarTheStar 6
Hiding the fact that she has to shit?
gingerwithsoul_fml 6
Yes, she probably farted to hide something. -____-
bsmith9942 11
Yes, whenever I'm hiding something, I fart. That always makes the moment less awkward. >.> I would be willing to be she was feeling sick and he just happened to walk in at that time.
quontag 15
I always hide the fact I need to poop with a fart...
Kiki242 19
How did you come to that conclusion? Farts mean deception?
buck33 14
94 - They don't? Well.. This changes everything.
ellie121 4
Or she's lactose intolerant and you caught her at a very bad time.
zachlibby 4
Nothing more romantic than a fart.
the_anti_hipster 7
Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Better than the alternative. The sentiment is still sweet! Just...don't go into the bathroom for a while.
morganrules123 10
If someone openly farts in front of you, you know they love you.
omgthatsosuppera 4
Maybe that was just the butterflies escaping.
windycityassasin 6
- Edit
sens3sfailing 25
You know you're in love when you get farted on and just laugh.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Well that was poor timing... really sweet of you though.
roseXthorns 8
If she had to go, she had to go.
ChelseaGrin112 14
Maybe you just caught her in a bad time? Just think of other possibilities OP. (:
LolOrDeath 4
If you gotta go, you gotta go!
sheerem 7
She probably just had diarrhea and didn't want to crap her pants in front of you. Don't take it too seriously.
hisgirlherboy 5
Explosive diarrhea perhaps?
guy24 9
BOOM
lyskiss 10
When you think you're gonna fart, but you blow your pants apart, diarrhea plop plop, diarrhea plop plop.
slurshies 11
109- too graphic... -.-
reject214 10
Gross. You should fart in her face for revenge.
ouchris 9
Now u know... there are moments when its best to be apart =P
Pentium_4 27
if you got laid afterwards, all is well
challan 19
So hershey squirts turn you on?
starman02 12
LOL 101 that made me laugh! I have honest to god never heard that one before. Thank you for making me crack up!
amandajlucas2015 2
Haha very nice
highway_unicorn7 5
Maybe it was your cooking...
gingerwithsoul_fml 6
The porcelain throne is calling her...