Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, an attractive coworker complimented my cologne in the elevator, so naturally I tried to respond smoothly. Instead of saying, “Thanks, it’s new” I somehow combined two thoughts and blurted out, “Thanks, I’m sweating.” We rode the remaining twelve floors in intense silence. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
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Top comments
llSgtScopell 0
Us guys can never catch a break huh?
Crabby 0
So I take it English isn't your first language? Why would anyone use the word "stench"? to "lovingly" describe someone?
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Comments (104)
baseball5030 0
if you'd said "you smell nice", she would've said "i don't smell good everyday?". It's better just to get her roses.
mylifeisfuckeddd 0
HAHA i think this is the funniest thing iv ever heard in my LIFE don't worry, she was probably really embarrassed. if my bf said that to me i would turn BRIGHT red...then i would slap him. aww you tried to say the right thing though, hopefully she will believe you when you tell her what you meant to say
Nilorac 0
HAHA, that's romantic.
djtelekinesis 0
Haha. If she isn't an airhead she'll get that you meant well when you correct yourself.
davidtheday 0
Thesaurus fail :)
howudoin770 0
STRENGTHEN YOUR VOCABULARY!..try scent
musiclife_fml 0
Engrish Fail?
shadowprometheus 0
You could be the next Shakespeare
zissou319 0
I dont know whats worse, the use of the world stench or the fact you call your girlfriend 'baby'.
Emmett_Luver_101 0
the thought was cute but think about the first few words .... you were gonna ATTEMPT to compliment her? soo im guessing you dont do it too often? anyway, i would go up to her and say "baby,you have the sweetest fragrance" trust me im a girl i know what we like to hear