Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, an attractive coworker complimented my cologne in the elevator, so naturally I tried to respond smoothly. Instead of saying, “Thanks, it’s new” I somehow combined two thoughts and blurted out, “Thanks, I’m sweating.” We rode the remaining twelve floors in intense silence. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
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Top comments
llSgtScopell 0
Us guys can never catch a break huh?
Crabby 0
So I take it English isn't your first language? Why would anyone use the word "stench"? to "lovingly" describe someone?
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Comments (104)
willxbexfam00sx3 0
Way to fail man.I'm sure that's what every girl wants to hear.I know I do.
blacklagoon_fml 0
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He leaned into me and said, in the sweetest voice ever - "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML.
jillianhoban 0
are you saying this was your boyfriend?
Mnj30 0
No, she's saying what his girlfriend would say.
Bubs_fml 0
Sweet comment failure.
heartsisters789 0
^^^
Berkies 0
Noob
faygo19 0
You are amazing!
NorfolkDude 2
Don't stress dude. If your gf can't accept the fact that sometimes you're going to screw up, then she's not worth it. Next time just be like is that a new perfume? If she says no, then be like you smell nice today. She'll smile and now you made up for your horrible choice of word. :)
4nonymous 0
haha; note to self. never use stench to describe the way a girl smells
StupidDancer 0
why would you say "stench"? Douchebag.
hockeyplaya 0
#2, just take a sec and think. lets replace the word "stench" with the word "lovingly" and see what it says... "Baby, you have a certain lovingly to you." im guessing english wasnt YOUR first language
Nerry_fml 0
he wasn't saying to replace it with lovingly, tardbear. he was asking why you would use the word stench in a "lovingly" way
simonelli 9
....idiot! #2 wasn't saying to switch the words, s/he was just simply pointing out that the words stench and lovingly can't possibly belong in the same endearing sentence.