Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
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Top comments
alycion 39
Why do people get drunk to make a move? So they can blame being wasted on if out blows up? I never got that. If someone tried making a move on me when drunk, i would walk away. If you like me, talk to me about it when you are sober.
Kurliez408 32
ydi for getting so drunk, bad for your health and ruined your shot
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Comments (9)
DonULFonso 22
Open your mouth, right... but not to puke, you douche!
Kurliez408 32
ydi for getting so drunk, bad for your health and ruined your shot
mas12806 24
And your enamel
Kimberley Michelle Whitley 16
Yeah, I remember Mean Girls too.
bloopaloop 27
While giving him a bj, I hope!
mfranks19891989 10
Going in for in for a bj and instead you puke on him nice move
alycion 39
Why do people get drunk to make a move? So they can blame being wasted on if out blows up? I never got that. If someone tried making a move on me when drunk, i would walk away. If you like me, talk to me about it when you are sober.
mfranks19891989 10
Sometimes when you get drunk is make you do stupid things and also boosts your confidence
daengh 15
Something similar worked for someone I know. They've been married for over 20 years now.