Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, an attractive coworker complimented my cologne in the elevator, so naturally I tried to respond smoothly. Instead of saying, “Thanks, it’s new” I somehow combined two thoughts and blurted out, “Thanks, I’m sweating.” We rode the remaining twelve floors in intense silence. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
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Top comments
llSgtScopell 0
Us guys can never catch a break huh?
Crabby 0
So I take it English isn't your first language? Why would anyone use the word "stench"? to "lovingly" describe someone?
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Comments (104)
bennihana121 0
#20, #2 wasn't saying switch the words smart ass. he was saying you don't use stench to describe something in a loving way
RHK_fml 0
Way to go man. Even Helen Keller would know not to word it like that. You fail.
Bubs_fml 0
#23: Maybe YOU shouldn't post the same thing twice in a row! (Edit: Now the double post is gone, nvm)
Bubs_fml 0
#26: THANK YOU!
wrestler_fml 0
aha damn, that's a word I usually only reserve for my exes after I dump them, or to joke around with my g/f so I can comfort her later and get make-up sex....... why the hell would you think that would actually make her happy? hahahaha just tell her what you meant to say, and she should be OK with it. be like, i meant to say you smelled really good, but i was so busy being mezmerized by your eyes that it came out wrong! she should understand. lol and for the record, he's not a d**chebag, just a typical guy like the rest of us. we do some stupid sh*t, cant lie
soxgrl33 0
Haha, smooth. I guess it's the thought that counts? =P
flaschgirl16 0
#28, i totally agree with you... he is not a d-bag. i am curious to know what the girlfriend said to that, and if she took it to seriously then that is dumb. she should know that he meant it to be nice.
factotum 0
My sympathies and any excuses you might have aside, you really messed that one up.
grl223 0
first of all...baby???? i'm sorry, i hate it when guys call me pet names. but honestly, if a guy would have said that to me, i probably would have just laughed really hard and said WHAAATTT?? are you kidding??? in which case you say... yes. yes i was.
pibb420 0
jeeze, quit calling the guy a douchebag, he just messed up a word. How does that make him a douchebag?