Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Have fun cleaning up human and dog puke
Anderling 33
You need to learn to not overdo it, my guy.
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Comments (3)
Anderling 33
You need to learn to not overdo it, my guy.
mike3775 39
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Have fun cleaning up human and dog puke
idragosani 17
You sound like a cheap date