Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, an attractive coworker complimented my cologne in the elevator, so naturally I tried to respond smoothly. Instead of saying, “Thanks, it’s new” I somehow combined two thoughts and blurted out, “Thanks, I’m sweating.” We rode the remaining twelve floors in intense silence. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
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Top comments
llSgtScopell 0
Us guys can never catch a break huh?
Crabby 0
So I take it English isn't your first language? Why would anyone use the word "stench"? to "lovingly" describe someone?
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Comments (104)
futureARMYman 0
easy way around this: dont complement her. lol just kidding every girl should be complemented for doing everything for us guys.
lostinthelight 0
First off, I'm a girl. I would be offended at first, but if you corrected yourself and laughed at yourself, I personally would think it's kind of cute.
narutou546 4
ummm, that's neck
ilikepieandpie 11
Wow. You fail
soccergurl98 0
Uuuummmm maybe u should of thought that through cause obviously ur not that good at goin on the fly
meekee 0
Try better next time.
iheartalonso 0
Lmao At least he tried
Denny1 15
Smooth
13yearoldpridigy 1
I actually think that's cute. At least you tried, right? I once had a guy say to me, "You smell good, kind of rosy. It reminds me of my mom, which is nice." Then wiggled his eyes sexily. At least you didn't do that, ya know.
anubisismylife 9
Stench? That's an interesting way to say she smells nice...