Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
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Top comments
sweet_candy_ 17
close your blinds op.
schwancy 2
Awkward... However, kudos for taking the time to self exam.
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Comments (117)
Neex_fml 0
oh bull. I'm tempted not to e a grammar natzi
y2bd 0
OH bull. I'm tempted not to BE a grammar NAZI as well.
VaJJ23 0
OMG I FOUNS A LUMP! oh wait just a cheeto :)
Skroal_stomper 5
Neex? May I examine yours?
FFML_314 12
It's a good thing that you didn't go through with it, 1. I have a sneaky feeling that you would have failed.
PuppiesFTW 5
Why don't you go to a professional?(unless you are a professional) You have perverted neighbors I say USE A ******* CURTAIN OR SHADES OR WHATEVER next time............problem solved. :D ya me.
bamagrl410 31
Why wouldn't you do that in the privacy of a bathroom, or at least close the blinds/curtains? YDI
I_really_do_care 0
dang girl ur fine!!!
XoX_CUPCAKES_XoX 0
haha grammar nazis crack me up :)
redque 0
mmmmm.... does nobody in our generation understand the difference between grammar and spelling? those were spelling errors, not grammar ones. htis is a spelling error. this can has grammar error. now that that is cleared up: OP, please move in next to me if this is a routine thing (feeling yourself in front of open windows)
sweethang26 7
111-AMEN.
SaintJimmy21 19
pwned :D
sweet_candy_ 17
close your blinds op.
davidjr_saldana 0
duhhhhhh op listen to us smart people
partychix246 0
totally agree 2 tht 1
TheDrifter 24
But where would the fun be in that?
Ponecake 18
To dumb to close the blinds. Smart enough to do a self exam? hmm
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I'm going to take a leaf out of the grammar nazi handbook here. It should be "too dumb to close the blinds."
Kefka91 15
lol say they can watch more I'd they pay up
schwancy 2
Awkward... However, kudos for taking the time to self exam.
squirell_AIDS69 0
No kudos if you're looking at #4's picture while you check yourself.
BahahahLOL 0
KOODO
All_For_Love 0
little perverts
PurpleSleep 0
And nobody believes that I was giving myself a vigorous penis exam outside that playground.
folgy 10
Same thing happend to me when i was checking my testicles in a convent darn nuns
TheBoss11 0
lol
squirell_AIDS69 0
Either they were right up against the window or those kids laugh pretty damn loud.
foryoublue94 0
I can hear plenty of sounds through my windows?
_streets_ 19
haha that's awesome.
xMafia 0
You shoulda went outside and slapped then silly with your lumpy *******.
lananicole 0
lmfao!
I_R_Genius 3
OMG it's should of not shoulda. And it's slapped them silly.
ohthebloodygore 16
Should have.
unidentified_sta 5
Correcting the corrector, fun and fun.
zcknight 0
lol
swimmerstud 7
both ways sound okay to me.
FFML_314 12
Some people may say that 'dat' sounds OK in place of 'that', but it doesn't mean it's right.
FFML_314 12
No, you can not play. You are in time out for pulling down your pants in front of the ladies bathroom.
FFML_314 12
No, I'm not convinced, because Kay has been tied up for 4 hours. Try again? *Tackles and hugs*
FFML_314 12
I know how much you love your meat. *Pins down and licks*
FFML_314 12
*Looks around* 'Tis me, Anna, the queen of absolute absurdity and disgust. :P
pontiacc 0
Oh god I had fun reading this
XxSonyaBladexX 0
LMFAO!!
mendes1987 0
holy shit Hahahahha XD
jordonkay 0
Haha wierd neighbors...
moi101 0
that is so ******* funny. their as old as me. haha
mercedes3210 6
sad :(