Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
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Top comments
TCRII 30
I have a 4 year old and this sums up so many days. Thanks for sharing. LOL
Wadlaen 24
Well, at least the neighbours now know that you are quite clean all over!
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Comments (11)
Alup132 22
Assuming he was spying on you, and not some sort of weird apartment setup where he was passing by, that’s super creepy!
Wadlaen 24
Well, at least the neighbours now know that you are quite clean all over!
RichardPencil 32
Why did you have to be so explicit with your kid? Had you just said, "Wait a minute," your nosy neighbor wouldn't have had a laugh at your scatalogical humor.
Lauren Davies 5
because she had been asking non stop for 5 minutes and crying about being asked to wait and I got frustrated.
TCRII 30
I have a 4 year old and this sums up so many days. Thanks for sharing. LOL
julfunky 29
No, you had to tell him you were busy and he had to wait. You CHOSE to tell him you were wiping your ass. YDI
AmbrosiaFan 19
as a mother of an 8 year old boy I'm LMAO... that won't be your last moment...
acmariner99 25
#toddlerlife
crsyldy 19
I have a 4yo and a 2yo and I’ve said this sooooo many times! If I could I’d post the Katniss solidarity gif. Thanks for posting!
indienerdgirl 27
Girl I feel you. My 3 year old does the same thing. Thank God my neighbors have a toddler though too 🤣