Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
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Top comments
CitizenSnipz 0
Both of you were eating a delicious snack filled with cream. He was just seeing how it was for you!
doctorr_fml 9
that blows
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Comments (219)
gobbledegook 0
lol
Ilovelife07 0
did you continue to get your own cream filling?
Dawkrida 0
hahahahahahahaha classic
douchbaggins 0
Oh man! I wish I was your boyfriend at that moment...............I love twinkies.
NIRVANAfan123 0
Might this twinkie be another mans dick?
fmlsoobad 0
u made my day
vanilla2u 5
my name is actually nirvana!
shugacane 0
LOL; guess your heading skills aren't so good
srd3 0
would be better with cod
perdix 31
I'd be a little concerned. Panic if he starts to teabag himself with those big pink Sno-Balls when you are sucking his happy sacks.
musicislife11 0
Douchebag calling them "happy sacks"
Laxloverr24 0
Don't blame the power of the Twinkie.
silverstein 0
You can give me head I don't like twinkies >:)
derangedplanet 23
I laughed a little too hard at this. I feel awful for laughing, and you're the one who wrote it.