Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. As I was about to give him head, I saw he had so much left over toilet paper stuck to his nuts. It kind of turned me off but I didn't want to say anything because he's one of the sweetest guys ever. After he nutted, he got up and there was toilet paper crumbs on his bed and ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ewmoldycheese 14
That blows
xleanne_aLly 23
Buy him and yourself baby whipes OP. I thought it sounded weird first too. But I have a lot of friends with babies, who obviously own baby whipes. She (and now myself) use them after toilet paper, when she's on her period or a poop. Her boyfriend uses baby whipes after he poops too. It makes sense right? Ohana, it means nothing is left behind or forgotten Neither of you will have this problem again.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
ewmoldycheese 14
That blows
MeanBeagle 22
that sucks
person961 9
Is it a vacuum?
MeanBeagle 22
its not a trumpet either
eatandobey 6
in a bad way
ThongWarrior 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least u can see he cleans himself?
dancer824 18
if he cleaned himself the toilet paper wouldn't be there....
amadeclton 27
8, the toilet paper is there because he cleans himself.
xleanne_aLly 23
Buy him and yourself baby whipes OP. I thought it sounded weird first too. But I have a lot of friends with babies, who obviously own baby whipes. She (and now myself) use them after toilet paper, when she's on her period or a poop. Her boyfriend uses baby whipes after he poops too. It makes sense right? Ohana, it means nothing is left behind or forgotten Neither of you will have this problem again.
dawnimus 21
#26 Do you want some cool whip?
salvorican 24
He cleans himself... Just not very well.
AloysiusWeasley 15
Dammit, it's "wipe." "Whipe" does not exist in the English language. Props to the Cool Whip poster, that was all I could think of as I read the comment in a snotty Boston voice.
xSLEEPYxHEADx 22
#26, i read that in Stewie's voice with emphasis on the "h" xD
akorpija 12
He does clean himself, but in a half-assed manner!
patrickeli 15
How is that clean?
riffehunter 16
"food on my hands? better use soap and water" "shit on my ass? This dry peice of paper should do it"
clemscott 10
I clean myself but I don't leave toilet paper behind that's gross.
Abdul888 16
Question is, why did not he use water to clean his butt? it's cleaner and his butt will not be smelly.
WallyQ 18
Gross, although it's probably best to talk to him about it. Make him clean up his act regarding personal hygiene.
ohSNAPyall 27
Hopefully it's just a one-time mistake.
patrickeli 15
Doubt it
sayyestothedress 24
#3 what's there to talk about? OP: "honey, when I was giving you a *******, I saw some toilet paper stuck in between your butt cheeks" OP boyfriend: "so? At least I clean myself!" And etc... It will cause problems in their relationship, and it's just toilet paper!
amadeclton 27
Extra flavor.
devildog562 33
Oh look a peanut.
Sariasprincy 7
Excellent example of taking it too far....
j_cat187 20
extra nutty nutella sauce
electricshock19 12
Unless you're into that...
Maggi_1997 15
lol plot twist
prettygurl89 16
Ugggggh
Hiktmae 20
I think your boyfriend needs a talk about hygiene, it may be just toilet paper but if he didn't notice that stuck in his butt who knows what else he's missed o.O
False_Stupidity 42
Car keys, his wallet, I don't know how big the boyfriend's butt is but who knows what else is missing up there?
sicksadworld1317 30
Maybe that's where my pet gerbil ran off to....
Ichiya 29
The loch ness monster perhaps
tarbaby6193 6
Waldo maybe ?
nevermindthemind 18
Time to get him some poop lessons and probably a new boyfriend
awkotaco333 15
Why would she break up with her boyfriend for something as small as that? It could've been a one time mistake
blanchthis 4
more importantly; there are poop lessons?
onlychildFTW 34
I'm guessing potty training?
SabrinaK1 12
Lmaoooooo
Im2Shy 16
Did you finish the "job?" Lmfao.