Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we'd passed and I heard her say, "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML
Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
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Top comments
MOOSE786 8
All babies look like potatoes to me
jentrynicole 20
How new of a baby is it? Because most newborns look like little aliens until are they a couple weeks old or so.
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Comments (50)
darshini_ii 24
Such a douche. The mom too.
thatguy206 27
can't blame a kid that young because he just learned it from the mom which is why most disrespectful kids are the way they are today.
Dale_shackleford 13
Not his fault OP has an ugly baby.
MOOSE786 8
All babies look like potatoes to me
hoosiergirl94 31
I like potatoes
TheGreatPotato 19
We do not look like babies.
crudeandrudeguy 29
I don't know, that potato in your profile picture looks an awful lot like a newborn baby to me
jarrettd 27
Don't try to play games potato. We know you're a baby in disguise.
repKyle95 24
Yeah, potatoes and newborns are both delicious
jentrynicole 20
How new of a baby is it? Because most newborns look like little aliens until are they a couple weeks old or so.
teentee401 37
Even so, most people ignore that and seem to think the baby is cute anyway.
joks666 5
They don't really think so, they're just being polite. The little boy wasn't socially trained, so he had an honest reaction.
cutiepie292929 18
Ur own baby never looks ugly to yourself. But fact is most babies are not that cute.
lulinator 40
Not all parents think their kids are the cutest. Everyone said my son was beautiful, I thought he looked like an ugly old man for months. My daughter was perfect though. Anxious to see what my third will look like in June in case I need to shop the maternity ward for a better looking one.
Xamry14 10
Lol it's normal for newborns to look like old men. It's because they are wrinkly.
lahutchins 23
All babies are beautiful!!! Those 2 are ugly on the inside!
HoboMeth 36
Why are you holding a baby alive doll in a blanket?
mattyiscool123 26
Who said anything about baby alive dolls?
ssnow_fml 20
I don't find most babies cute. they just look weird to me
iSativa 24
Must be a Tourette's kind of thing and the boy just inherited it.
Magnoxidans 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sure you have a beautiful baby, unless they were a parent/child model duo who are they to speak?
Whydoyouask 11
YOU.
WOTAN1488 24
Probably an ugly baby, or maybe there was some left over bile on his face or something from puking.