Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
lakaiskate 12
He was only thinking with one head today
lil_miss_simran 15
That was rude of him
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Comments (109)
lil_miss_simran 15
That was rude of him
SAspring 17
Thanks, I wasn't sure if it was or wasn't.
cakefete2 31
Dishonest guys are cheats, liars, and douches. Honest guys are jerks, inconsiderate, and asses. Is there a non-negative middle ground?
SpamPam 18
honest and dishonest are not binary when it comes to people's personalities. It's a spectrum with countless other factors thrown in
Setareh23 34
I guess a non-negative middle ground would be an honest person who actually loves you and isn't just using you for sex?
Setareh23 34
But I suppose when you fish for compliments like OP, you usually catch a person unawares and they can blurt out something stupid by accident.
LunaaBluee 27
If you're in a relationship and neither have said the I love you to each other then I don't think it would be smart to ask.. You're putting him on the spot. If he loves you eventually he'll say it without feeling pressured to do so. Also he might lie just to not hurt your feelings..which was not the case here.
WMFG16 14
thanks Dr Phil ^
lkfoster1 7
So accurate it hurts...
silverstream20 20
Not just rude but incredibly insensitive too. OP, if this continues and you still feel unappreciated then leave him and find someone who does.
BvbArmy_0 18
What a DICK, anyone? No? Okay
DragonPorn 15
@107 Nobody will laugh when you try that hard.
lakaiskate 12
He was only thinking with one head today
JJ_86 22
And OP don't have to worry. His upper one seems to be a non-functional one.
glowbaby 15
At least you know you are loved.
Kamon97 23
And doing a good job too lol
Demig0d6 14
Mine too
Respect101 17
Wow.... okay... thanks for the information..
powelale0000 19
He sounds like a dick.
jerryj 27
What does a dick sound like? I wouldn't know, as mine isn't too talkative.
powelale0000 19
Touche
cakefete2 31
I agree, 20, mine just raises his head from time to time and waits to be acknowledged, but he never actually speaks.
sjbartholome 14
@21, not touché you were making a pun and #20 didn't realize that. you win not him
DArthurVaderian 18
#102 This may have gone over your head but he didn't misunderstand, he made a joke.
milky2321 14
honesty is the beast policy.
Welshite 40
Beast policy? Maybe you should just start lying about your sexual preferences from now on, milky.
MrConcise 35
Welshite, please! He was merely suggesting that OP's boyfriend was giving into his primal side, honesty being him following his urge to reproduce.
swiftslayer 12
that's why I don't like one sided relationship
jad0016 12
It's not one sided obviously she loves him and his dick loves her.
Vahex 19
You're comment made me laugh
Soloman212 28
More of a love triangle. OP->OP's boyfriend->OP's boyfriend's dick->back to OP.
Adam5858 17
Well hopefuuly your "Ex" moves on
hayleybaaby 15
#9: Because ending the relationship is always the best answer. -.-
2i1337i2iscore 13
This sounds like a relationship to you? Shivers.
Adam5858 17
#27 Who said always eh?
mvc3ftw 17
#27 did.
HockeyPlayerLife 13
You're Irish. You can still (obviously) say "eh". Just seems a little like "hmmm, Canadian or nah?".
WMFG16 14
#9 you'll learn about sex when you make it to middle school
VengeanceChicken 12
You aren't a piece of meat, you can do better.
Honema 16
she's lots of pieces of meat and fat and goop, but she can do waaaaay better
MrConcise 35
If you're feeling unappreciated, don't fish, say what you feel. You can avoid things like this, people. YDI
cakefete2 31
Your name fits your comment like a hand in a glove. Also, I agree. Men tend not to know what's on our own mind half of the time, why do so many women expect us to just know what's on theirs? Communication is key.
MrConcise 35
100% agree. Starting off a conversation the right way sets the tone and leaves no room for misunderstandings or unintended insensitivity.
stephhrunsaway 21
Exactly! I'm a woman, and I can't stand when other women fish for compliments. "Do you love me?" Such a dumb question. As soon as I saw that, I hit YDI. When people fish, I sometimes tell them the exact opposite of what they wanted to hear to **** with them.
SpamPam 18
"I'm not like other women" hahahahhahahahahahhahahaahhahahahahabahaaha