Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lakaiskate 12
He was only thinking with one head today
lil_miss_simran 15
That was rude of him
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
pressingreset 13
If you have to ask, you already know the answer.
qdawg06 23
Is that the first time you brought up the oh so scary "L" word? Maybe he just panicked... But regardless that sucks OP.
sky96 12
I would say ex boyfriend
2i1337i2iscore 13
The L word makes or breaks a relationship
cakefete2 31
Of course it doesn't lie, it stands up.
lulinator 40
Maybe you should have told him how you felt instead of fishing for what you want to hear and being disappointed when you don't get what you want.
maddybug5150 5
Dump his sorry ass
bluejaygonewrong 5
Sounds familiar...ass
interesting33 37
He sounds like he was trying to avoid the question by making a joke. If you've never said it before - don't worry too much - just talk to it through. You don't necessarily have to love each other yet.
adacometbrittany 3
well atleast the biggest part of his personality does, it seems