Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
lakaiskate 12
He was only thinking with one head today
lil_miss_simran 15
That was rude of him
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Comments (109)
worldclassrager 41
Well That's A Bit Off...Then If He Didn't Why Would He Be With You? I Really Hope He Was Trying To Be Funny
Axel5238 29
Sorry to hear that OP, though guys that make jokes like that generally aren't going to respond with something sweet. Saw something about a soccer fan on textsfromlast that's a soccer fan screaming "nut" like a soccer announcer. Guys that do crap like that aren't really the romantic type.
Animekid126 13
i'm guessing it probably was a joke?
69dns_fml 11
He meant his brain.
sabine123_fml 5
Tell him to comeback when hi brain loves you
brandoneyez1 25
Cut him off. His dick must be all that matters to him.
Lsidak715 8
Dump his ass
janiiine 5
Might have been a joke. If not. Break up.
Octobia 5
Wow! At least, he is honest. Eh.... Does this help?
luverofakatsuki 16
well think of it this way at least he finds you attractive enough to get a hard on