Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
lakaiskate 12
He was only thinking with one head today
lil_miss_simran 15
That was rude of him
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Comments (109)
JMor52 7
Whoa that's a dick move, get it dick move. lol
thatisaWIN 5
Explaining the joke doesn't make it any funnier.
sparty48910 5
we got it. no need to explain. not like it was even fin y to begin with.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
when he ask how good it was reply with, I've had better
Goblin182 27
How romantic
weveallbeenthere 30
honest answer, stupid, but honest.
toxic_walrus 15
Oh boy, sounds like a bit of a problem :P
johbstonjacob 8
good effort
khaled_almu 13
Man 1 - 0 women
lalaney 14
That is so messed up. I would dump his ass. I understand why he felt awkward because it sounds like it was the first time you've ever asked, and the context was not romantic. Regardless, that was the most insensitive and horrible way to respond. Give your love to somebody with some empathy, OP.
olpally 33
Yeah, that's not the best way to go about that. Explain why you feel that way instead of fishing for compliments.
icaneverwin 3
In what possible way does asking if someone loves you is equivalent to fishing for compliments??
ShittingHicks 4
Look at this kid's profile too, such a hypocrite.
joshsellick 3
I say the same thing