Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
lakaiskate 12
He was only thinking with one head today
lil_miss_simran 15
That was rude of him
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Comments (109)
Lil_Red777 21
Maybe not her whole body, but definitely her ******.
tzemmy 25
"i love you, your dick loves me, we're a happy family..."
kookysoc 11
Sorry. I pressed YDI by accident... 944 - 1
ladoom 23
That is so disrespectful
EvilLittleMan 23
OP, is said boyfriend named Richard by chance?
Chibi_Kitten 24
Oh, and so Dick is really Richard Jr. Let's just hope everything about it isn't junior as well.
the_real_aquaman 5
Everytime there is a relationship post the comments are like dump him
sugarbaby9908 20
At least one of his heads loves you
MrSweeps 5
Well this is what you get when you base a relationship around sex instead of a steadfast commitment of love between two people that have sex because that's what people do when they love each other. *****.
LO1014 16
Maybe it's time for a new boyfriend.
ladybugz23 13
what a asshole he is. dump him