Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
lakaiskate 12
He was only thinking with one head today
lil_miss_simran 15
That was rude of him
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Comments (109)
buffynovelli 14
maybe you shouldnt have put him on the spot. Do you want him to lie and say he does love you when he doesn't? Never ask people if they love you and they haven't said it before.
buckdharma 38
Maybe this Richard fellow is his alternate personality.
adoseofmicki 12
No matter what, Dick will always love you. Unless you pull a Lorena Bobbitt.
NinjaDitto623 14
Dump him and his dick.
sarahhanlen 11
Ex-boyfriend right?
MissColey711 7
That's a no
the_Jessicaaa 11
At least he is attracted to u
WMFG16 14
And spits when it's joyful
ProudDaddy 7
At least you know he still finds you attractive lol
TheVurcle 10
He sounds like he loves your ******, not you