Because I'm worth it

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

Hairstyle lifehack

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

Natty dread

Today, I’ve been growing dreads for two years after I lost my hair to chemo. After visiting my boyfriend’s family, we all contracted lice from the kids. Even though I did the shampoo and treatment, my locks are too coiled to effectively comb out all the nits. I have to shave my head again. FML

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

Scratchy

Today, my kids and I discovered the party hats from the party we just went to were infested with lice. FML

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML