Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML
Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from a friend's place since she agreed to watch him while I went out of state for Spring Break. I arrived at her apartment. She’s gone and the apartment was vacated. She won’t answer her phone or texts, and vanished from all social media. I’m still making payments on the dog. FML
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML
Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." You can either swallow that namby-pamby bullshit, or go house-to-house with a baseball bat until you find your dog and beat the shit out of Cruella DeVil and her henchmen.
zebrapattern 6
*69, figure out what the number is, then look up an address, and bring the police with you so they have to give it back. but take some proof that the dog's yours with you, as well.
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Comments (132)
mysaturdaysucked 0
first
beethovensfifth 0
hahahaha I love this kid. he probably laced the koolaid too.
gooBUZZ 0
What? You make no sense, sir.
quaddrummer93 0
I think he may be hittin' the crack pipe again
Florence_ 0
I think he was supposed to replied to the FML above this xD
phreshboi 1
agreed ^ but yeah in this FML I would just call them back, and if they had there number blocked, then I would ask the police to trace the call and unblock it
Alpha35 4
HHAHAHAAHHA SCREW U OP HAHHAHAHA
z620 0
Caller ID tha S.o.B, OP
DahkLohd 4
They're going to eat it.
SparcMac 0
do you think they're chinese?
48Connor 10
LOL Asains!
starfuryt550 3
it's the Vietnamese you gotta be more worried about.
Afxman 0
no it's the nazi's
dickamaru 0
true it's probably my friend too since he admitted the missing dog reports was cause by him
LaughingHobbit 4
I love how ur profile photo matched so well
babe7260 30
Omg WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY!!!!! Don't give up O.P. You'll get ur dog back!!!!
tyler20569 0
I agree with DahkLohd...anybody want di oh soup?
tyler20569 0
dog*
juniefry 0
1st.
zebrapattern 6
*69, figure out what the number is, then look up an address, and bring the police with you so they have to give it back. but take some proof that the dog's yours with you, as well.
alexFYL 11
I was going to say this also. If *69 doesn't work, call the police, and call your phone company who can provide record of who called you. A dog is still considered property and this is theft.
anon_e_m00se 8
If you can get their address without the police ... then skip the police. Take two large friends, each carrying a baseball bat and a hammer. You, bring your dog's crate, plus a pair of pliers and a blow-torch. Do not tolerate a dog thief, but do make them suffer for the rest of their short lives. Be sure to clean up any evidence, but also use their entrails to leave a message on the walls, as a warning to other dog thieves. Happy Holidays!
tatang93 0
lmao.
rottentomatoes 7
nice christmas present though.
peanut1534 3
lol I'm agreeing with zebrapattern.... but i'd go get them one since they want one so bad
mommafish 0
go to the local media. I've heard a similar story before and the local news took the story and the people who took the dog were embarrassed into returning it.
iliketurdles 7
Do some 'Without A Trace' or 'CSI' shit.. I watch too much TV.
Lisa89 3
You know those shows yet you didn't know what a moshpit was.. *sigh* (relating to other comments made) ahh just messing
iliketurdles 7
Yeah but I don't like rock music. I'm assuming that's a very familiar term when it comes to that genre. Each to his own, right?
nightDREAMERms 6
Agreed, lol. I'm not that into heavy rock music and never have been so I didn't even hear the term "mosh pit" 'til I was a teenager. And even still, when people talked about them, they always seemed like some confusing giant fighting orgy to me.
andiles 0
awwwwwwwwww :((