Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML
Today, on my way home from work, I went to the car wash. When the spray jets hit the car, my dog jumped out of his crate, into the front seat, and onto a button lowering both back windows. I got both an exterior and interior wash. FML
Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
Today, I was cleaning my car when I hit the automatic window button while I was vacuuming in between the door and the driver's seat, and got stuck halfway out, in full view of my neighbor. He had to come get me out, because I couldn't reach the button. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, my boyfriend has severe dog phobia, and a dog off its lead ran up to him in a car park. He panicked and tried to jump into the car, but the door hit it in the head and it started fitting and seizing. About three people called the police and the dog's owner broke our car window. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML
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Top comments
AZFreckles 0
I'm sorry for your dog. But what kind of moron are you for driving with a ******* dog on your lap?!?!?! Was there no room on the passenger seat, or better yet, in the back seat?? Can you honestly say that your dog is never a distraction to your driving? I'm guessing NOT if it's ******** on you.
SOCALME 3
Scooby dooby doo?
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Comments (157)
RavenRockaFellon 0
Aw, hope the pup is ok! and if he/she is... LOL! I can just imagine the dog's face: ^_^ *window rolls up, cue crap* O_O
GoingLesbian 0
LOL oh geez...
agm2010 0
I like ur username. lol may I ask why so??
SophieH14 2
hahahahaha unfortunate, but funny
Chubby_Cha5er 0
Three words ...... Dumb ass dog p.s he showed you who the Alpha dog was :)
doublewide420 0
i had bigger arms than you in 7th grade
TheDrifter 24
He shops at a&f... need I say more?
bittersweettttt 0
it sucks
fml_as_usual 0
i'm a pet owner myself and i hate when people let overly excited pets just run freely inside the fcking car while they drive, that can be more hazardous than texting while driving. People think that because pets are smart they can't accidentally raise or lower a window, press something else, or jump in the drivers laps or arms at the wrong time.
kai_li 8
Or...CAUSE AN ACCIDENT INJURING PEDESTRIANS OR OTHER DRIVERS! I hate that people are only concerned about the dog. Yes that sucks but don't people pay attention to the road anymore?
elrusso 0
Ironically, given its general incorrect overusage, this FML actually needed the word "literally" in it.
iheartglasses 0
This is why you lock the windows if your dog is stepping on the buttons... Unless it coincidently unlocked the windows AND rolled his up. Go to PetsMart and buy it a little car seat :) They dont look like baby car seats though. I originally thought they did when I first heard of them haha
mariet_fml 23
YDI. it is such a bad idea to put your dog on your lap while you are driving.
DakotaCat 4
You ain't nuthin' but a hounddog.. Crappin' all the time!